Don't Let Me Be Lonely
by Prettie Parker
Summary: Just hours after Katniss is reaped for the 74th Hunger Games, Gale and Aster make a mistake in a moment of emotional weakness that turns their world upside down. Gale, Katniss, Hazelle, Mrs. Everdeen, Peeta and more.
1. Chapter 1

**Note: **There is an adult scene in this chapter. I will note where it starts and ends with **. If you don't want to read it you don't have to. It will not be a common theme throughout the story and that's why I have rated this story T.

**Don't Let Me Be Lonely**

"_When I'm gone, you'll need love to light the shadows on your face."_

Staring out into the woods, high upon a hill top, I wish I could just disappear. Today I lost my friend to the soul crushing machine called the Hunger Games; food for fodder for a Capitol whose thirst for blood is never quenched. But I know I shouldn't be surprised by this turn of events. District twelve is a wasteland of death and despair. Everyone loses someone here; some people even lose everyone and everything. I'm no stranger to that curse.

Both my parents perished when their train derailed on the way to the capitol. A freak accident the authorities called it, but there were rumors from the start it had been a deliberate attack against the government. However, those rumors were quickly silenced like all talk of rebellion always is. Whatever the details, no answer would have been comforting.

Either way, I became an orphan. The two people I loved most in the world were ripped away to that place no one ever returns from. No matter how hard you cry or how loud you scream for their return; the unbearable grief and emptiness is all that answers your call.

My fate would have been sealed, I would have been sent to wither and die in the children's home if my brother had not taken over as my care taker. And some days I think the first fate would have been less cruel. My brother doesn't love me. In most ways I revolt him. Mirroring all the traits he saw as weakness in our parents. He only took over my care in order to receive the money that came with me from our parent remaining assets. Assets we would have split until he took control of it all.

You see, I come from the merchant class, which puts me in better shape than the families fighting for their very existence in the Seam. We're by no means wealthy like people are in the other districts, but my family owns a shop. We have a roof over our head and food in our bellies. All of our basic needs met and on rare occasions, some of our wants too.

My father was watch maker- a craft that catered to the wealthy. As my father once said, only the rich could afford time. His craftsmanship was so exquisite the Capitol was even interested in his work. It was that interest that had my parents on the train that fateful night. It was that interest that stole them away.

Having our needs met, my mother always reached out to other's who were struggling. A gift she bestowed within me. She always felt more at home in the Seam, in the Hob than she ever did in town. My mother always said, it was important that we help one another, because once we lose our humanity, than there's nothing left worth fighting for in this world.

After she passed, I spent my days wandering the Seam, where I could feel closest to her, and where people felt more real and authentic than the pretention that filled my home with my brother and his wife. At first my presence stood out like a sore thumb. My mother's wavy blonde hair, and deep evergreen eyes made me stick out in a sea of brunette's. But my mother had been loved by the people in the Seam and eventually they began to accept me too. Whether it was pity or genuine acceptance I'll never know, but I wasn't picky as long as they let me stay.

That's how I first ran into Katniss outside of school. I'd catch her eyes on me in the Hob talking with Greasy Sae or sharing my meager loaf of bread with children who had nothing, but hollow aching bellies. I caught her eyes on me while I huddled alone at school.

Pulling away from my old world and everyone in it after my parents died. She once had the unfortunate luck to be moving through the alley behind my house when a heated argument broke out between me and my brother. An argument that sent me lying in the dirt after he shamelessly struck my face in retribution. My eyes only caught hers briefly that time before she thankfully had the mercy to quickly disappear.

Maybe it was because we had both lost a parent we loved. Maybe it was because we both felt the world had abandoned us and we had to rely on ourselves to survive. Maybe it's because I share a likeness to her beloved sister Prim. Or maybe it was because I tried harder to belong in her world in the Seam, than I ever did my own in town. But whatever it was Katniss slowly began to let me in, and slowly she had helped me break free of the walls I had built around myself after my parent's death.

At first we were just silent companions at school, but then she slowly began to speak to me when she saw me at the Hob. Nothing substantial, but slowly our bond grew. Until one day, she was my friend, my only friend. She taught me about plants. She even tried to teach me about hunting, but my skill with a bow was uncoordinated at best.

We didn't share deep conversations. We didn't spill the heartache of our lives. She never trusted me the way I could see she trusted Gale. But she was my friend, my only friend, and the only bright spot after losing both my parents, besides my grandma. And I could tell in her quiet smile, I was hers too. But all of that was ripped away on the 74th annual reaping's for the Hunger Games.

I feel like I'm barely breathing as I stand in the woods. The air burns in my lung and strings as I exhale it free. I don't know what I would have done if the fences had been turned on. Perhaps I would have tried to just run through them away. I just knew I had to get away. I had to feel near her. Near the only real friend I have. The woods were the first thing to pop into my mind, her second home.

I stare out into the forest that appears endless in its expanse. The weight on my heart feels unbearable as tears run steadily down my face. I can't believe they took her. The only one of us worth saving. The only person who had made this place seem like some resemblance of home since my parents died.

Shuttered bursts of breath push forth past my trembling lips as the tears continue to flow. I thought coming out here would bring me solace, but it only leaves me feeling more alone and unsure if anything can quench the pain throbbing inside me at this point.

Then I hear it, a branch snaps just a few feet off. Quickly I wipe my eyes of all tears. Sniffling hard, I try to rope my emotions under control as my face quickly turns to see what or who has found me. Surely peacekeepers would mean imprisonment or worse on a day like today. Our eyes lock instantly. He stands frozen beside a tree, taking the sight of me in, silently brooding.

Tall, dark, and handsome, he makes my heart beat faster for a new reason. I've held a spark for Gale Hawthorne ever since he transformed into a man overnight. Most of the girls in the Seam do. As Katniss's friend, he knows me. Spends more time with me than I know he'd like. He resents me. Resents me for coming from the merchant class, for living in town, and not in the Seam. Resents me for taking up some of Katniss's precious attention. Resents me for turning their twosome into a trio. And he's made it perfectly clear since day one. Gale Hawthorne tolerates me for Katiniss's sake, and I'm sure I'm the last person he wanted to find out in the woods on today of all days.

Our eyes hold as he seems to internally debate turning around and leaving on the spot. But for reasons I'll never know he decides to approach me instead. Like a predator on the prowl, he moves silently until he reaches my side, then halts.

Normally catching sight of Gale would bring a warming smile to my face, even if he never returns it. But today is different. Today he's just a sad reminder of what's missing, of what's been taken away, and I get the distinct feeling he feels the same about me.

My eyes break away, back across the grassy hill top, out past the trees that clustered on the mountains for as far as the eye can see. The feel of his presence beside me makes the ache in my heart swell once again. The afternoon events replay in my mind like a nightmare. The fear in Katniss's voice as she burst forth from the crowd to volunteer herself for the sake of Prim. The piercing scream of Prim's tender voice as Gale carried her away. The look of unbidden fear blinding in Katniss's eyes as she stood upon the stage. I had only gotten to see her for a moment after the ceremony; A moment that felt more like a swirl of emotions and promises than an actual event.

The memories surge and begin to strangle me as I finally turn back to Gale, overcome by emotion.

"She's gone." My voice breaks with each painful word as tears I can no longer hold in begin to cascade down my face.

Because I'm not just talking about here and now, but quite possibly for forever. In my heart, I know if anyone from distinct twelve can win, it's her, but I also know one against twenty-three others gunning to kill you are horrible odds. And the odds are never in our favor.

Before I even know what's happening, Gale takes me by surprise and pulls me into his arms, nestled against his strong warm chest, comforting me. He's never done anything like this before. He's never even touched me, but I also know I can't be the only one breaking right now. I know what Katniss means to Gale. It's impossible to not see.

I cling to him, my fingers digging into his sides as his strong arms wrap tightly around me, embracing me. I feel broken and lost as the tears continue to fall and absorb in his shirt. Taking a deep shuttered breath, his musky scent fills my lungs with a sense of comfort. I pull back just far enough to find his eyes, needing to feel a connection in a moment so alone. Towering over, just inches away, our eyes lock. And for the first time I can see how broken Gale looks.

The devastation twisting his strong handsome features, the pain bursting from his eyes with unbearable grief. Without thinking twice, my hand reaches up to tenderly touch his cheek, reaching out to him. Offering him the same comforting championship he's so freely giving me. Even though it contrasts every moment we've shared before this. Raw emotion has a way of pulling people together.

My touch seems to change something in him, seems to alter the moment in some indiscernible way. Right before my eyes, Gale's orbs take on a new depth, and practically swallow me in their grip.

******In a second, as air dances past my lips, before I can exhale it back out, his lips are falling onto mine. His kiss is tentative at first. But as my lips return the embrace, his mouth rapidly grows hungry and frantic. His hand grips my cheek, holding me securely within his reach as Gale kisses me with pure desperation. And in that moment, I know exactly what this is. Gale hasn't changed his feelings for me, or revealed something hidden he has harbored for me all along. Gale is breaking down under the weight of Katiniss being thrown to the wolves. And I'm his closest option for escape.

Logic would have screamed to pull away, but this escape against the pain feels as urgent in my veins as it does in his. And the sensual command of his mouth makes it effortless for me to want more. Our mouths hungrily open, seeking more as Gale's slick warm tongue slips inside my mouth and tangles with my own. The whole world seems to slip away in this moment. Not just losing Katniss, or the agony of the reaping, but all of the misery of distinct twelve falls away as we frantically kiss each other for escape. The seduction between our lips heating up within my veins, masking everything in intoxicating pleasure.

I feel myself slowly falling backwards, and instinctively I cling tighter at Gale, trying not to fall, until I register the feel of his strong arm wrapped securely around my back. It's then I realize he's slowly lowering us to the grassy earth beneath our feet.

We come to rest in a tangled mess of limbs, the tall grass encircling us like a tent. His towering body blanketing me. Bigger than me in height and strength, his presence is practically all consuming. Gale's skilled hunting hands are surprisingly tender upon my face as he never lets up the supple dance between our lips. Suddenly, Gale breaks the kiss, leaving me breathless and panting on the ground. I'm dazed, my lips swollen, but begging for his return. My mind instantly shoots to life with insecurity. Has he realized what he's doing? Who he's doing it with? Is he going to run at any moment?

My eyes flutter open with confusion and trepidation until I realize Gale isn't leaving. He's up on his knees, between my legs, staring hungrily down upon me as his fingers hastily unbutton his shirt. His creamy flesh and strong muscles make me instantly forget that I should be alarmed that his clothes are coming off. His eyes look darker than I've ever seen them, keenly focused, and it sends a heat sweeping throughout my body. The look in Gale's eyes makes my throat go dry. No one has ever looked at me like that before, and yet, I know instantly what he wants.

Following suit, never allowing my mind a minute to stop and think this one through, letting the seduction of his eyes guide me, my trembling hands grab at the skirt of my dress, and start tugging it up past my knees. Gale's got his shirt undone and is making fast work of his belt and trousers. I hike my dress nearly up to my thighs before he's descending back down upon me. Gale's rough textured hand claims the outside of my thigh in his decent. Gripping it, he swiftly pulls it flush up against his hip as he pushes against me. Sending my mind spinning and an involuntary noise I've never heard myself make before shuttering past my lips.

Gale's hand glides teasingly up the remainder of my bare thigh, taking my dress with him until his fingers looped up under the fabric of my panties. My heart beat picks up with apprehension as his lips crash back into my own. I've never done anything like this before. I've only been kissed by a boy once in a fleeting awkward moment. Stemming more from pity and twisted sense of understanding than desire. I don't know much about Gale's experience, but I know he's had girlfriends. I've heard the rumors about the slag heap. And I can tell by the fluid smooth motion of his hands, and the fervor of his kiss, he's done this before.

The feel of his hands wandering over my figure coupled with the seduction of his juicy driven mouth makes my mind go blank in a way that's a relief after the torture of today. It makes me almost forget we've both lost someone we love so dearly. His kisses set me on fire in ways I didn't even know were possible. In ways I feel ill prepared to battle, to say no to him. I can barely breathe as I feel Gale work my panties free, before his hands glide up my inner thigh, but that's when a voice of reason begins to scream in my head. Demanding I acknowledge what I'm doing, what I'm about to do, no matter how badly I don't want to confront it. Warn him, Stop this, This is a mistake, it screams. Rapidly my lips shoot to life.

"Gale… Gale…" There's a sense of urgency to my words as they slip out between kisses, but I'm so out of breath from the assault on my mouth that my voice slips out in breathless sputters.

I grip the edges of his shirt still clinging to his shoulders, trying to gain his attention, but I'm too late. A heavy grunt bursts past his lips as he pushes fast inside me, his face falling into the crook of my neck. Pain rips through my body with the invasion. Sending a piercing cry hitching off my lips in response as warm tears go shoot down the sides of my face.

Instantly, Gale stops. His face slowly lifts from the nest in the curve of my neck. He hovers frozen over me, inside me. The first break he's taken from his frenzied state since his lips first touched mine. The first attempt he's made to come back to reality.

When I open my eyes, Gale's dark pair are waiting for me. There's something close to shocked alarm blinding in his eyes. His throat bobs as he swallows hard.

"I didn't know… I thought…" He breathlessly states, unable to finish his thoughts.

Painfully aware he's just gone where no one has gone before. His gaze is so heavy I can't breathe, I can't think, let alone speak. Reaching over, Gale tenderly wipes away the tears running down the sides of my face. A wounded look summoning in his eyes as the salty wetness melts into his fingers. Easily the sweetest thing he's ever done for me in the brief gestures of civility he's shown me previously.

My inability to speak seems to only unnerve him further. The look in his pupils somehow seems more broken than before by what he's done.

"We should stop." Gale's breath husky in a low contemplative whisper as his hips begin to pull back from me.

For reasons too complex to be summed up in the moment, my thighs clench tightly around him, holding him in place. The pain that's been drowning in his eyes since he stumbled upon me is now bleeding with an overwhelming look of guilt as he stares don't upon me.

"Don't stop," My heavy breath practically pleads.

A frantic feeling surges through my heart. I can't let it end this way, not like this. Not after everything that's happened today. It would be too much to bear. He's still hovering just inches above me when I lean up and capture his lips tenderly in my own. Saying don't go, I still need you, and I'm pretty sure you still need me. Even if it is for all the wrong reasons, because I am still desperate to feel something other than the loss and emptiness echoing inside me.

Gale's mouth holds steady with reservation for a moment, before I feel his lips surrender, and finally brush mine back. Our lips take hold, trying to find the spark again. I had known it would hurt. I had been prepared for that, but Gale feels like more than my body can take. So I focus on the tender need of his kiss, let it melt me from the inside out as I try to relax. Trying to ease the pain that's slowly beginning to ebb away.

When Gale finally dares to move, his hips rock slowly. A whimper I can't seem to suppress escapes past my lips into his mouth. Never missing a beat, Gale's lips still upon mine. My eyes shoot open to find that same guilt blinding in his eyes as they barrel down on mine. I can see it scares him to think he's hurting me. Gale may not like me, but he doesn't want to cause me pain either.

Despite his distance, he's too kind underneath it all to be that selfish. And I know in that moment, whoever Gale has been with before, most of them hadn't been first-timers. And he needs to me to reassure him this is ok. I want this too. Seeing the softer side of Gale melts away any lingering trepidation about what we're doing. Even though I know we're doing it for the wrong reasons. Even though I know he's not doing this because his feelings for me have changed. I can't find myself wanting to stop. Not only have I wanted Gale to see me, really see me, for years, but even more, this is the first escape I've felt since the reaping's this afternoon.

Biting down on his lower lip, this time I feel Gale give in right away. Knowing I'm offering him what he needs; Freedom from everything suffocating him in this world right now. Too desperate people finding escape in one another.

Slowly our bodies find a sensual rhythm the way our mouths did. Slowly my whimpers lesson with each thrust and transform in to hot breathy murmurs. Slowly the pain gives way to a growing heat. A fire really, that starts in my lower belly and grows with every thrust of his hips, spreading throughout my body. Slowly that frantic feeling that first ignited the fire between us begins to reignite.

Our mouths grow hungrier and more urgent as the pressure builds. I can feel Gale's hands roam over any piece of my flesh he can find while digging around under my dress. My head digs deeper into the dirt beneath the grass from the pleasure coursing through my body. My back arching up against him as Gale devours my neck with moist nibbles and hot kisses that have his tongue dancing across my flesh. Inexperienced, I follow Gale's lead. Letting him wrap my legs around his hips as I tilt mine upward to meet his every movement.

Creating a friction that threatens to unravel me. I know he's lost in what we're building as breathless grunts begin to spill past his swollen lips onto my sensitive skin. Slipping under his shirt, my hand clutches at the muscles flexing on his back, as the other buries deep in his thick dark locks. I don't know if Gale's thinking of me. But a quiet voice deep inside warns me, I probably could've be anyone right now, he's so broken over losing Katniss. He just needs someone, anyone. I just happened to be the girl he stumbled upon first. And perhaps it's even Katniss herself he see's laying beneath him.

But I don't have much time for dwelling on mind crushing thoughts as all the sensations exploding in my body take over. I feel something building inside me. An intense pleasure building deep inside me from everything Gale is doing to me and it leaves me begging for more. I know he feels it too as our bodies seem to fall insync and pick up their pace. Despite most of our clothes still hanging on, our bodies glisten with beads of sweat beneath the fabric. Our kiss has ceased as our foreheads rest together lost in the fire building between our bodies.

His body quickens, his panting breath hits my face, as Gale seems to battle an invisible army within him. An army I can only imagine is made up of peacekeepers, and the Capitol who stole Katniss away from him. And in this way, my body is the only way he can fight back. Just when I feel like my body might explode into a million drops of ecstasy, a blunt curse shoots out of Gale's mouth. "Shit." His whole body grows rigid, his breathing erratic, then he collapses on me in a sweaty panting mess. ******

My eyes shoot open; I take in the deep greens of the tree tops as I struggle to get my panting breath back to its regular pace. As I try to become reacquainted with the world around me as the intense pleasure slowly slips away.

Gale only lingers on me for a few moments before rolling off and landing on his back beside me in a heap. All I can hear is our panting breaths. I suddenly become aware of how exposed I am and self-consciously tug my dress down from my belly.

The moment feels awkward as reality begins to settles back in. Gale doesn't say a word. He doesn't have to say it, the way he won't look over at me screams of regret. I know I should have seen this coming, but I didn't look that far ahead and now all I have left is a hollowness under my skin. I don't feel better about the reaping's. I don't feel better about losing Katniss.

I only feel worse and more alone than ever. Gale won't look at me, so I don't dare look at him. But out of my peripherals I can see he's tugging his trousers back on his hips. Taking his unspoken cue, my face turns from side to side until I spot my panties within arm's reach. I manage to slip them on despite the trembling inside me.

Finally glancing over at Gale, I find only his shoes where his body once laid. My eyes glance up, searching on forever to find his face that still won't bother to look at me back.

"We should head back." He speaks flatly.

Detached, in that same distant manner he usually addresses me in. His dark brooding eyes, gazing out into the trees as if anything was more important to look at then me. As if gazing upon me now was just too hard.

Emotion burst in my chest and I have to bite down hard on my lower lip to stop the tears stinging in my eyes from falling. I feel less than cheap. I feel practically worthless, but I refuse to let him see that. Finding my footing, I slowly rise on unsteady feet. And instantly my body fails me. My muscles are trembling and weak, my body frail and shaky from exertion. My body sways, and just when I think my legs are going to give out on me, and make a complete fool out of myself, I feel Gale's hands take hold of my waist.

Steadying me, his breath feels hot against the back of my neck and ear.

"Easy there," He instructs and I could have sworn I heard a touch of concern cloud his breath. I take a deep breath in, and let Gale stabilize me as I wait to regain stability in my legs.

Then he takes me further by surprise, as his hand begin to sweep down the back of my dress and pluck at the back of my hair.

"Just a little grass and dirt. You're hair's pretty messed up though. You might just want to let it down." He explains with an audible hint of gentleness.

That's when I remember we're still in our reaping clothes, our finest clothes. My brother had purposefully brought me this stupid dress just for the reaping's. I'll surely have to pay for rolling in the grass with Gale in it, but somehow that feels like the least of my problems. And I can only imagine what my pinned up bun must look like now. Taking his instruction, I reach behind my head and pull a few bobby-pins from my hair. Letting my wavy golden locks cascade down my back. I hear Gale let out a heavy breath in response, but I don't know him well enough to discern what it means. And I'm too overcome by my own doubts to give it further thought.

Still holding me steady, Gale moves to the side of me. One hand drops free of my waist before I quickly feel his thumb and forefinger grasps my chin. Gently he lifts my face and finally our eyes meet. For a moment I see the boy I adore; The one who has a smile for Katniss that could eclipse the sun; The one who's playful and fiercely protective with his little brothers and sister; The one who isn't ashamed to still care what his mom thinks.

"You ok?" He questions me with genuine tenderness and concern in his eyes.

My heart stings; No, I'm not ok. I just did the stupidest thing I've ever done. And despite you're kindness for me now, I know you're feelings for me haven't changed. I've lost my best friend and made a fool out of myself to the only boy I've ever liked, all in one afternoon. So no, I'm not ok.

"Yeah," I lie, my lips pursing tightly closed to hold back the truth. I can see in his eyes he doesn't believe me before my gaze falls from his.

Gale doesn't press it, like I knew he wouldn't. His hand lets go of my face and I think he's going to pull away entirely, but his other hand slips to my lower back. His hand spreads wide as his palm comes to rest on the curve of my spine. "Come on," He beckons, taking the first step. His hold on me taking me with him.

When we get back across the fence we part ways. I can't help, but look back at him as I head back to town and he moves within the Seam. _But he never does._

As I make my way into town, I keep my head low. Despite what people of the Seam might think of the township, it really isn't all that much better. The quality of life is slightly improved, but everything is still bleak here. We live and breathe and die here, no one ever gets out. No one ever carves out a better life.

The Seam is death and despair, but the town is a stagnant pond of empty dreams just waiting to suck the life out of the next generation. I feel more alone than I've felt since the day my parents died. I want to blend into the buildings and melt into their walls. Fortunately for me, everyone seems lost in their own world. Glad they had escaped another year of reaping's, or mourning the loss of someone they knew taken away too young.

I reach the front of our family store and slip around back to the main entrance of my house. My home is hidden in the back half and upper floor of my family's watch shop. It's the last place I want to be right now. In many ways it feels more like a prison than it does a home, but I have nowhere else to go.

I sneak in the door as quiet as I can. Hoping to go unnoticed. Hoping to dive into my bed, cry and sleep until this day feels like nothing more than a bad dream. And I almost make until the voice of my brother's wife Marigold, hits my back.

"What happened to your dress?" The tone in her voice makes it clear she's displeased and judging, but not surprised I've managed to ruin my new dress.

Objects are always more important than people to my brother and his wife. A trait my brother didn't inherit from either of my parents. Perhaps it was Capitol envy, but whatever the source he lived his life by it all the same.

I ruined it out in the woods, beyond the district fence, where we're not allowed to cross. My dress is smeared with dirt and grass stains, because I let Gale Hawthorne take a piece of me. The only piece of me you think has any worth when you to try to sell me off for marriage in a year and half. You know, that boy from the Seam you think is lower than trash. My mind silently taunts her.

"I slipped and fell." I easily lie, never looking her way. I try to pretend she isn't there, because she's the last person I want to face right now. The last person I trust when my heart is already broken.

And I know my brother must be close at hand too, waiting to pounce. He lacks any real emotion or loyalty and he always has. The most selfish person I know, next to his wife. And I know it gives them both some sick pleasure out of trying to breaking my spirit. To rip the kindness from my soul and make me as ugly inside as they are.

"Where have you been?" My brother's voice is stern and accusing as it picks up. The sound of his shoes moving against the wooden floor tells me he's moving closer.

Choosing to ignore them, and taking a slight ounce of pleasure in knowing it only infuriates them both when I do. I shrug my shoulders and move through the kitchen, toward the narrow staircase in the back.

"I went for a walk after the ceremony." I state flatly.

I know I'm riling him up when his tone turns colder than usual and he begins to lash out, trying to wound me with his words.

"Upset over the tributes? Had a crush on the baker's boy? Or perhaps, that girl was one of your filthy Seam friends." I know his words are meant to hurt me, and it only riles me up more that they do.

"Who I care about is none of your business." I spit out.

My words more full of fight than I even intended. Knowing I probably crossed the line. The line of respect and obedience he demands of me while I live under this roof. I quickly move up the first few stairs trying to escape before things turn ugly.

But he catches me first. Latching onto my upper arm, he grips me with all his strength. A grip so tight I know it'll leave a bruise some time later tonight. He yanks me back down the steps until I'm flush against him. A try to resist, my attempts are futile, and appear only weak compared to his strength.

"Watch your mouth with me, Aster. I'm the only reason you don't live in the Seam or the children's home. I'm the only reason you're alive. You'd never make it out there." He hisses into my ear, his fingers digging deeper into my arm with a warning… _Obey_.

I want to turn around and shove him with all my might. I want to scream at him the only reason he takes care of me is, because he wants to squander what little money mom and dad left for me. I want to break one of the ornate plates, his wife spent frivolous amounts of money on, and remind him all of this use to be ours until mom and dad died. But I don't, because I know it won't change anything. And I'll only pay for it worse in the end.

Holding back my anger, I muster my strength and yank my arm from his grasp. Never looking back, never giving him the satisfaction of knowing he's gotten to me, I climbs the stairs to my room, and lock the door behind me.

"_When you're young, you can fly, but we trip on clouds 'cause we get too high."  
_

**Authors Note:** Feedback is strongly encouraged! I love to know what you think :) What do you think of Aster? Does she interest you as a character? I promise Gale will warm up as the story goes. Bear in mind at the begin he is not fond of Aster. She's just Katniss's friend, a merchant girl. How did you feel about Gale and Aster sleeping together? Do their intentions make sense? Will you continue to read? Please Review!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** There is a shift of POV from Aster to Gale at the end of the chapter. I will not be marking it with "POV". It's a style pet peeve and I don't like the look of it. Also, if I can't make it clear who's POV you're reading then I'm not writing well enough. Just a heads up.

_**There Goes My Life **_

_I'm Pregnant; _I'm late, I'm never late. The thought is too enormous to think about. Too terrifying to face. It makes me want to crawl into my bed, hide under the covers, and never come out again. At first I tried to convince myself it was the stress of the games that made me late- having to watch every day to see whether my only friend lived or died, and some days it looked like it could have been either. But then the nausea came; and it came with a vengeance. I've hardly been able to keep anything down. And while I feel more exhausted than usual, and find myself hit by sudden dizzy spells, I know I'm not sick. I know my body when I'm ill and this… this is something different.

Despite sleeping with Gale, this was never an outcome I saw coming. I know I should have, I've heard the girls at school talk, I understand the gist of how babies are made, but I didn't. I mean, what are the odds? The one time we're together, my first time, I end up pregnant. There's only one possible explanation I can find… Its poetic justice. Gale hasn't spoken to me since the afternoon in the woods. I've seen him in the Seam and school. A few times his eyes have caught sight of mine upon him, but he only looks away. I know he regrets what we did. I know he wishes I would just forget and go away. What we did meant nothing to him. I had merely served a purpose. And while it meant something to me, I know it should have meant more. I should have waited, I should have told him no, and now I'm paying the ultimate price for my foolish impulses.

I feel lost in my thoughts, trapped in my head, and have been for days. I can hear the dinner conversation going on around me, but it feels miles away. Completely removed from it, it barely registers when Marigold calls my name. My eyes shoot up from the spot on the table they've been glued to for who knows how long, and find my sister in-law's orbs waiting impatiently.

"It's rude to not respond when spoken too, Aster." She scolds me before getting to her point. "Why aren't you eating? I prepared a lovely braised rabbit and you haven't even bothered to touch it." She continues to pick at me. Always looking down her nose at me, and normally I would have thrown a snide comment back. Reminded her I'm usually the one who has to cook, because she's too squeamish to skin and fix the meat, but today I don't have the strength.

My eye's fall down to the plate before me. Undercooked meat slathered in its own bloody juices with overcooked mushy vegetable waft up my nose, and instantly my stomach revolts uncontrollably. Instinct takes over as I abruptly push back from the table. Covering my mouth, I rush to the bathroom, and make it there in barely enough time to empty the contents of my stomach. There wasn't much in there as I haven't been able to keep much down, but still I heave uncontrollably. Tears burn in my eyes as I retch until I'm left dry heaving. On shaky legs, I rise to my feet. Reaching the sink I rinse my mouth and try my best to make myself look presentable, normal, before returning to the table.

All eyes hang on me as I reappear. Concern hangs in my grandmother's eyes while my brother, Lydle, and Marigold glare with criticism. "Really Aster, the rest of us are eating." My brother admonishes me. "Are you sick? You've been doing this for days." He obliviously prods me with questions. And thankfully for me, with his lack of knowledge on children, none of his own, he hasn't put it together.

"I'm feeling tired. I think I would like to lie down. Aster, be a dear and help me upstairs." My grandmother chimes in. Redirecting their attention, saving me from lies I wasn't sure I had the strength to formulate in my current state.

Nodding, I quickly go to her, wrapping my arms around her small frail body as I move us toward the stairs. I know she saved me. Her body is weak, and her heart broken from a life that stole away too many people who she loved, and yet left her cursed to live to a ripe old age alone, without them. She doesn't have much fight left in her. She spends most of her days in her room reading. Coming down only for meals, but in her own way, she protects me. She takes care of me and makes sure I know I'm loved. She's the only real family I have left.

When we reach her room, I help her to her bed. With slow steady movements, she shifts onto the mattress, her back coming to rest against the propped up pillows. I smile softly upon her with thanks and go to leave, to let her rest, but her hand catches mine. Our eyes meet as she softly smiles at me. Releasing my hand, she lightly pats the mattress beside her.

Following her wishes, I take a seat. Her eye's find mine again; beautiful green eyes that have faded with age, but never lost their spark. They say I get my eyes from her. Her gaze holds me captive as she reaches up to gently stroke the hair framing my face. "Sweet girl…" She calls me, and I finally see it in her eyes, she knows. She knows the hopeless predicament I've gotten myself into. She sees the signs for what they are. And I should have known she would. Surely she's been around long enough to see a sad case such as mine at least once. And even if she hasn't, she knows the signs. She knows what they mean.

Seeing she knows my secret becomes my unraveling. Seeing my secret in her loving sad eyes, sends emotion constricting in my throat. And tears burning in the edges of my eyes before they cascade down my cheeks.

"Sweet baby girl…" My grandmother's weathered voice calls to me, filling with emotion as she tenderly pulls my head down to her lap. Her skin feels paper thin, but soft as feathers as she gently brushes my hair away from my face, her other hand holding me near.

I haven't let myself cry over this. I haven't let myself admit it was real in a way that could touch my heart, but as my grandmother wraps me in her loving arms, I feel the truth crash down hard upon me. Tears I've been holding at bay finally break free, slipping endlessly from my eyes. Sputtering bursts of breath shutter past my lips as I tremble with fear. I don't know what I'm going to do. I've never been so afraid and desperate in my life. And despite the comforting support of my grandmother, support I'd died without, I know I'm completely alone in this. And that scares me to the bone.

After the initial shock wears off, I'm left with an unbearable desperation humming through my veins. The full scope of my situation is eating me alive from the inside out. What I have done will surely be the death of me. When my brother finds out I'm pregnant he'll throw me out on the street. He's only kept me this long for the money and the chance to sell me off for marriage to the highest bidder on my eighteenth birthday, like one of the plump pigs we raise for slaughter out back. I'll be a disgrace to myself and my family if I have this baby alone; if I survive at all.

I know living alone on the streets I will die. Despite what Katniss has taught me, I won't be able to survive on my own. And Gale has made it abundantly clear he wants nothing to do with me. Just a memory of a weak moment he'd like to forget. I know Katniss would be there for me, but she's already supporting her family and helping with Gale's; even more, she's now a victor. There's only so much to go around and let's face it, I'm a hopeless case. I contemplate sneaking off into the woods and swallowing a handful of nightlock to save everyone the weight of my burden. The first berry Katniss showed me, and adamantly explained why I should never eat it. But if my life is over anyway….

Even if I managed to survive, scrape by, barely living. My skin and the skin of my child would surely hang from mere bones and empty bellies. Even if I managed to muster that grim fate for my child, what then?

My child will have to suffer six years in the Hunger Games lottery. A lottery unfairly rigged by tesserae's we'd surely have to take out endlessly to survive. Enough to fill the bowl with my child's name so many times, the odds would never be in their favor. They'd run the high risk of being sent off to the slaughter while I watched, helpless, from a world away.

And as if bringing a child into this messed up world alone doesn't sound painful enough, imaging watching them die sounds unbearable. Everyone I've known in district twelve who've lost a child in the Hunger Games, never came back from the loss. It's as if their souls died in the arena right along with their child. They say losing your child is worse than death, that it's the worst pain anyone can experience. And I'm staring it down as a very real outcome in a future that would find me and my child all too soon.

If by some grace my child escaped the games and then it would have to go down into the mines. Where more people are burned or buried alive than ever live to grow old. Dying a slow and painful death of lung disease at an old age is the only gift a cold miner can pray for. And, if she's a girl without a father, she'll be left vulnerable to the predators within the Seam always searching for weak prey; for girls without fathers who can't fight back. Who are desperate for money to survive; who are starving and hopeless; who have only frail broken mothers to protect them.

How anyone could bring a child into this battered world, into district twelve, feels more like a cruel punishment than a blessing. It's a future too full of despair to pass. And that's exactly what brings me to Katniss's door on a muggy summer day; to their tiny run down house that could pass for a shack.

Mrs. Everdeen answers easily enough. She's look happier than I expected, but I can still see from the fine lines and dark circles under her eyes, the games have taken their toll. Her eyes survey me, slightly surprised. "Katniss won't be home for a few more days." She smiles and I can see a light touch her eyes in knowing her daughter is coming home alive. I've been so preoccupied with my own desperate situation it had barely registered that my best friend beat the odds, had not only survived, but won. A triumphant joy that would have me singing from the hilltops if my own plight wasn't so bleak.

"I actually came to see you." I say, my eyes dropping from hers and down to my feet out of a shame I'm not ready for her to see.

Ushering me in, Prim bursts through the room, and comes crashing into my arms for a fierce hug. "She did it! I knew she could do it!" Her young elated voice fills the room with life and vibrates through me. Prim is truly a small piece of heaven, a drop of sunlight in the midst of a storm. It's no wonder everyone, town or Seam, love her so dearly.

I hug her tightly in return until she pulls free. "Never doubted her." I smile back, even though the elation doesn't touch my eyes in quite the way I know it should.

Mrs. Everdeen walks me over to the kitchen table just off the door before she turns to me. Her eyes hanging preemptively upon me. I swallow hard to build my nerve. "I have a problem I could use your help with." My voice comes out steady, but slow from nerves. Now that I'm standing in front of her this feels harder than I ever imagined it would be.

Mrs. Everdeen nods simply. "Alright, well what seems to be the problem?" She asks me.

My eyes nervously scan the room. Falling on Prim and holding for a moment. I'm not sure if I should be sharing this in front of her. Then again, I'm not sure I should be sharing this at all. I'm not even sure I should be here. I'm not sure of anything these days. "I'm pregnant." I manage to slip out on a hushed breath barely above a whisper. The horror of the words passing through my lips unnerves even me.

An audible gasp bursts off Prim's lips and echoes throughout the suddenly quiet room. Shaking me, reminding me how disgraceful I've become. How foolishly I've thrown away my whole life.

"Prim dear, go check on Lady. I think she's due for a feeding." Mrs. Everdeen quickly speaks up as if realizing this situation was too sensitive for Prim to aid.

I can feel Prim's shocked eyes hinged upon me even before I look back at her. She appears frozen and immobile by my news and I instantly regret confessing it in front of her.

"Prim." Mrs. Everdeen calls more firmly, catching her daughter's attention this time. Something in her eyes seeming to convey it was time for her to go, before Prim nods, and slips out of the front door.

I say a silent prayer as she disappears that she'll keep this news to herself. I barely have time to turn back to Mrs. Everdeen before I see her rapidly approach me. "You know for certain?" She questions in a matter of fact tone and I know I'm now speaking with Mrs. Everdeen – healer. Her voice is delicate, but the look in her eyes reveals how bad this really is.

I shake my head no as I chew nervously on my lower lip. "But I'm pretty sure. I'm late… I'm never late. And I… A little over the month ago I…" I confess on a heavy breath unable to finish. Feeling the emotion stir back to life within my chest. Threatening to surge upward and leave me a crumbling mess in moments.

Mrs. Everdeen quickly rattles off a series of questions. I can tell its protocol, really. Diagnosing me, while probably hoping I just have the flu. My mind begins to drift away with her questions. My body is still there, but I allow myself to slip away. Thankfully my lips manage to provide her with an answer. Questions that only seem to dig my grave a little deeper with each confirmed response. Do you have tender breasts? Check. Fatigue? Check. Frequent urination and dizziness. Check. Nauseas? Check. Check.

I finally seem to come to as I take in the sullen look that washes over Mrs. Everdeen's face before she nods. Finally coming to the same conclusion that I had- I'm pregnant.

Her nod confirming what I already knew sends a rush of panic racing through my chest. My breath begin to pump out in erratic frantic bursts. My heart feels like it's going to beat right out of my chest. I feel I could black out any moment just before Mrs. Everdeen takes hold of my elbow and seems to lower me into a chair. "Breathe slowly," She instructs, mimicking her own words as if to give a demonstration as her eyes burrow into mine with concern. "The father?" She finally asks me after I've begun to slowly do as she asks. Slow breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth, repeat. Don't think about your fate. Don't think about why you're here. Just breathe.

Gale rushes into my mind and everything I felt for him, still feel for him. And how I let those feelings cloud my judgment into making the biggest mistake of my life. All of it a bittersweet kiss of doom. "He doesn't know me, not really. Barely tolerates me." My face drops with shame. Shame that Mrs. Everdeen has to know I gave myself away so recklessly to a boy who cares so little for me. Feeling the need to explain, to make Mrs. Everdeen see how desperate my situation is, if she doesn't already, my lips begin to fly. Words shooting out in rapid succession. "I was just so upset after the reaping's, and he was there, and… When my brother finds out he'll throw me out onto the streets. I'm not strong like Katniss. We won't be able to survive. The baby will surely starve to death if it even makes it to birth." My words rattle off as fear and panic build in momentum within the chambers of my heart.

What I'm saying isn't implausible. Mrs. Everdeen knows this. Hell, her own children almost suffered that same cruel fate after her husband's death. People drop dead of starvation all the time in the Seam. Starvation of one degree or another is common place within the Seam. So often no one bats an eye. With the life I've lived, the little survival knowledge I have, I have no doubts that would be me and my baby decaying in the cold unforgiving streets. My future so unbearably set it sends tears I can no longer hold back building in the brim within my eyes, because the words I'm about to say kill me almost as much as my fate does.

"I've heard the talk before. I know there are herbs that can…" But I can't say the words, they're too painful, too ugly. They make me feel cruel and callous. As if I have no regard for the life growing within me. But I do! And that's why I'm here's making this unbearable choice. Tears I can no longer contain fall down my cheeks as I feel my face crumble in despair. "There's a difference between suffering a cruel death and never being born… There's a difference." I break down with the words. Tears fall hard and fast down my face as I try to justify a choice that I know will destroy me, in a situation that leaves me with no good answer. I begin to choke on my own breath as Mrs. Everdeen wraps me in her arms. I don't want to do this. I don't want to kill the life growing inside me, but I don't see a better solution.

Mrs. Everdeen's hands feel gentle and comforting as they hold me near and rub my back. Softly she sooths me. "It's ok. It's going to be ok." She whispers, lying words to me in a motherly way that reminds me how badly I wish my mom was still here. That maybe I wouldn't be in this situation if she was. Holding on until I begin to get ahold of myself. Until I feel like I'm able to bear the weight of my predicament, my fate, my request, again.

Pulling back slowly, Mrs. Everdeen offers me an empathic smile as she gently wipes the tears from my puffy tear stained face. "Who's the father, Aster?" She quietly speaks. Keeping it low as if she understands this is a secret.

I hesitate, not wanting to say it, least of all to her, but I'm caught between a rock and hard place. She's the only person who can help me, and if she's asking for the truth, it's the least I owe her. "…Gale." I whisper out on a shuttered breath that's barely audible.

I watch as Mrs. Everdeen's features grimace, shaken by the news, but still she manages to holds it together. It takes her a moment to speak, but I can only imagine there's a conversation bursting inside her mind as she stares at me.

Taking my hand, Mrs. Everdeen looks me square in the eye. "Talk to him. You must tell him…" Her words are firm and adamant. She isn't asking me. She's insisting. "Then… then if that's still what you choose, I may be able to help you." I can tell by the way she speaks, her words have been carefully chosen. She doesn't want this anymore than I do, but she understands the severity of my situation too. Seeing something in Gale I don't, having faith in him, Mrs. Everdeen is trying to save me this pain. After what happened between us, after what's happening to me because of it, I don't share that same faith in Gale, but I know now she's right, I have to tell him. So reluctantly I agree.

Gale turned nineteen a few weeks ago. I know because his birthday is only a month from mine; even though we're two years apart. He's been working in the mines ever since coming of age. Which has made it exceedingly more difficult to catch him in private. And I want to tell him before Katniss gets back in a few days and consumes Gale's every free moment. He works long twelve hour shifts, but I remember they have Sundays off, and instinctively I know where I'll find him.

I slip past the fence in the late morning. When I can get away without it being questioned. I slip into the trees and trek on as the woods begin to swallow me. I have a pretty good idea where to look. A few places Katniss has taken me before, with Gale alongside. Silently, I beg he's at one of them. Rounding a valley and climbing a small hill, I let out a sigh of relief when I spot him. Bow in hand. I don't make it two more steps before he turns on me. Whips around in a flash. Bow raised, arrow aimed surely for my head.

Instinctually I freeze, my eyes grow as wide as saucers, and I pray I haven't just taken my last breath.

Thankfully, he recognizes me in time and sends the arrow whizzing past my shoulder, instead of into my skull. "Could have gotten yourself killed." He barks at me, making the journey over my way to retrieve his arrow that lodged in a tree just a few feet past me.

My eyes follow his every move, but I refuse to let him think he's phased me. I refuse to reveal most of myself to him anymore. "Making smart choices hasn't been my strong suit lately." I say flatly with a shrug of my shoulders.

Gale eyes me unamused as he yanks the arrow from the thick trunk; careful not to bend or damage it. "Can we talk?" I speak up as he makes his way back down the hill. As if he's done with whatever game I'm playing. And needs to use what little time he has to hunt instead of shooting spiteful banter with me. I'm bitter, I'm willing to admit that. I feel burned by Gale Hawthorne and seeing him now only makes the wound sizzle again.

Gale hesitates, his feet coming to a full stop. His broad back to me as he seems to contemplate my request, but ultimately he concedes. And I like to think it's because he knows he owes me this much. Nodding, he takes a seat in the tall grass lining the hill I emerged from, his brooding eyes overlooking another deep valley that lay before him.

I take a cue and come to sit beside him. I draw my knees up to my chest as if unconsciously creating a further barrier against him. We sit in awkward silence for what feels like forever. Now that I'm here I don't know how to start this. Blurting it out doesn't feel right, but we don't exactly have much else in common to break the ice with. That's when Katniss fills my mind.

"She did it." I say, my voice filling with a sense of awed reverence as I gaze out in the valley below. Allowing my heart to swell with pride for my dear friend, who's stronger than anyone I know. Who beat the unbeatable odds and who is finally coming home.

"Yeah, she did." Gale agrees, a lightness filling his breath as a smile he can't seem to hold back softens his face. I grow mad at myself as his charming smile summons an all too familiar fluttering in my belly. This is the first sign of real emotion he's revealed since I arrived and I can't believe I'm letting it get to me. And I know it's because he loves her. I've known that for some time. You'd have to be blind not too. And while some girls in my situation might feel resentful toward the girl who holds his heart, I don't. I'm not foolish enough to think it's Katniss who stands between me and Gale, it's just me; or rather his lack of interest.

The awkward silence settles in around us again. In a second we've run out of things we can talk about, we share, beside the giant elephant in the room neither of us seems to want to bring up. My fingers begin to fidget upon my knee and I know I'm rapidly hitting my make-it or break-it moment, an all-in kind of thing. And just when I think the nerves in my belly are going to strangle me they're so tight, Gale finally speaks up. "Aster, what happened between us was…." He starts, his voice is flat and detached in a way that only feels sterile and cold, but I can tell he feels the need to explain.

He starts to say it, _A Mistake_. I can already hear the words before they ever leave his breath. And I can't bear it, I can't bear to hear him say it. I'll never be able to tell him why I'm really here if I have to hear him call me a mistake. So despite the anxiety waging war on my body, just under my skin, I know I have to beat him to the punch. Before the damage is done, and I'll chick-out of telling him. "Gale, I'm pregnant." I blurt out suddenly, not nearly a yell, but far more vocal and firm than I had intended.

Instantly his breath dies, killing those words on his lips that I couldn't bear to hear. I don't dare look at him. I'm too afraid of what I'll see written across his face, contorting his features. He sits silently, shocked I presume, for what feels like several agonizing minutes before he finally finds the nerve to speak. "Are you sure?" He questions me. His breath his hollow, but I can't read any other emotions that must be bursting inside him.

A relieved breath slips quietly past my lips that he at least has the decency to not ask me if it is his. To not insult me after blowing me off. "Yeah." I answer meekly, unable to elaborate any further.

I hear a heavy sigh leave Gale's breath, but still I don't dare look at him and I can feel, he doesn't dare look at me either. We just sit there in a silence that seems to drag on forever. Crushed under the weight of what we've done. Of what our foolish actions have cost us. Every minute that passes and he doesn't say a word feels like it's cutting deeper into me. I turn my face away from him as I feel a tear slip down my cheek. I refuse to let Gale see it. My trembling hand quickly wipes it away. And I know in that moment I have to get out of here. I've already stayed too long and if I stay any longer, the world around me will surely cave in. Summoning my strength, a strength that has kept me going through all of this, kept me going after my parents died, I rise to my feet, and walk away.

After Aster leaves, I spend most of the day in the woods. I don't return home until it's almost dusk. Not ready to face my family until I absolutely have to. I have very little to show for the hours I put in; two squirrels and a small rabbit. My mind was too haunted, too distracted by the news to achieve any real hunting after Aster left.

When I finally return home my mother, Hazelle, seems to know instantly something is wrong. The way she always seems to know with a glance. Besides Katniss, she's the only person who can take one look at me and instantly read me like an open book.

I'm silent as night settles in, lost in the confines of my own mind. Aster's words ringing over and over in my head like an incessant gong that offers no peace. On the rare occasions I make eye contact with my family, especially my mother, I can tell from the worried look in her eyes I look like the weight of the world is resting upon me. And it is.

I sit silently throughout dinner; here, but not really. I know I need to get it together, and usually I'm the first to put my feelings aside, never let anything phase me, in order to spare my family that burden. But I can't do it this time. I can't find it in me to pretend everything's ok, my life hasn't felt this out of control since the day my dad died. When Posy approaches me, asking me to read her a book before bed, a beloved tradition we've enacted since she was very small, I find myself stuck under the collapsing pressure inside me.

I stare frozen upon my baby sister, my dark eyes fixated, because it's like I'm seeing her for the first time. Her big doe eyes, round rosy cheeks, cherry little pout, I remember when she was just the swell of my mother's belly, and look at her now. The baby growing inside Aster, my baby, this is what it will become. A living breathing child, it will need me the way Posy does and more. And no matter what step I make from here, there's nothing I can do to change this from becoming reality. This baby is coming whether I'm ready or not. My eyes slowly begin to grow wide in horror with the weight of my realization. "I… I…" My lips stumble in response as Posy stares up at me with big innocent eyes, obvious to the conflict swimming in my head.

"Not tonight, baby. Rory is going to read to you." My mother quickly steps in. Wrapping gentle arms around my sister's shoulders as she guides her over toward my younger brother. Rory offers our mother a disgruntled huff in response to his new added responsibility, but quickly obeys under the weight of Hazelle's stare. "Get the kids ready for bed." She instructs before shooing them off into another room.

Returning to the table, Hazelle finds me just where she had left me. My gaze focuses upon my fisted hands resting on the tabletop, my head hangs low. Almost more dazed and lost in my own mind than before, if that's possible.

Sucking in a deep breath as if to prepare herself for whatever is weighing me down to my bones. News she seems to already sense will be devastating, my mom takes a seat beside me at the table.

"Gale…" She calls to me in that familiar melody that she has been singing off her lips since the day I was born.

My big brown eyes shoot up to my mother seated beside me. I can tell with a glance, the fear and vulnerability blinding in my usually strong eyes is heartbreaking for her to see. "What happened?" She questions me as gently as possible. A look of empathy and support shooting from her eyes. Reaching out to me as I hang on by a thread beside her. I can practically read her mind, she's plagued with fear for Katniss. Surely, the only person she can think of who could have this big of an effect on me.

My eyes shoot away from her suddenly with the question. I can't bear to look her in eye as I share the news. I can't bear to see the disappointment. How much I've let her down. Too ashamed of what I've done. "You know Aster Alloway?" I manage to spit out on a low deep breath. The question is rhetorically really. Of course my mother knows who she is. Distinct twelve isn't that large and there was a time when Aster's family had once been prominent, but it feels like a good place to start.

"Yes," My mom confirms, waiting preemptively to see where this will lead. A twinge of confusion in her eyes tells me she was sure this was about Katniss and the mention of another girl has thrown her. I'm pretty sure my mother knows more of Aster Alloway than she knows the girl personally. Her family is well known, I remember my mother speaking fondly of Aster's mother after the train accident. But most people in the Seam only know Aster as the lost girl who wanders the Seam looking for things she'll never find here. And on occasion, I know my mother has seen her tag along with Katniss and me when we return from a hunt.

I feel my throat tighten, my chest constrict as the moment of truth arrives at my feet. "She's pregnant." I barely whispers out on a husky breath. And as the words leave my breath, come to life in a world larger than my own tortured mind, I begin to feel an anger fill within me too. Saying it out loud feels humiliating, shameful, and crushing. It makes it real in a way I don't feel prepared to face.

My mother's eyes fall shut as my words impact her. She fights to restrain an audible emotionally driven response. I know, the last thing she wants to do right now is drive me away. Because even though I don't say I'm the one who got Aster pregnant, we both know I wouldn't be sharing this, wouldn't be so torn up, if I wasn't.

Reaching out, my mother takes my hand. Giving me a silent show of support. The look in her eyes conveys silently, she can't tell me things are going to be ok. She can't tell me this one will work itself out. Because those would be lies. All she can offer me in this moment is her loving support as I walks into an unknown future.

Anger begins to swell inside me. What have I done?! I've ruined everything! How could I let this happen?! I should have been careful, I should have pulled out, or never touched her at all. It's not as if she's the first girl I've taken a run of it with. Merchant girls love to go slummin' with a boy from the Seam. But I know the unspoken rules. You don't get to keep them. You don't get them pregnant. You never get them pregnant! But instead I let my emotions get the best of me. My _'I don't give a damn about anything attitude'_ after watching Katniss be taken away, and now I've landed flat on my face in a pile of shit for it. Taking my family and Aster with me, because they too will have to deal with this new burden.

How am I going to feed another mouth? Do I want to feed another mouth? I love my brothers and sister, but am I ready for another Posy or Vick running around? Am I ready to be anyone's father? And God, with Aster of all people. A girl I've always written off as privileged and naive. How will she ever survive in my world, in the Seam? I don't want to be responsible for her. Especially not since Katniss is finally coming home. And despite the show with Peeta during the Games, I still feel confident I have a chance to win her back. A chance to make Katniss see what we share. What we've always shared. And Now… Now I've gotten Aster pregnant! I erupt to life with inner turmoil, my free hand's been slowly fisting tighter with each unbearable realization. Only to release in a fury as I slam my strong tight fist upon the table top with a vengeance. Sending the table hobbling under the pressure and my mother shooting back in her chair with surprise.

Deep in the night, I awake suddenly covered in a cool sweat. The unbearable truth found me. Late at night, in my dreams. A nightmare paints the horrific possibility of watching my child be raised on the sidelines of my life, because I refused to claim her. In my dream, it had been girl, mirrored Posy. A child who suffered the brutalities of growing up in the Seam without a father to protect her. With a mother who was unprepared and barely scraping by. Too young to fight for herself like Katniss had. As I stood on the sidelines watching her as if she could be anyone's daughter.

Those images terrify me as I recall them in the twilight. The gravity of the situation finally beats inside my heart, because I know what's like to grow up without a father. And I finally see, this baby will be tied to me in a way that is deeper than any I share with my family now. And nothing matters more to me than family. No matter what I feel for Katniss. No matter what I don't feel for Aster. My wants and desires no longer have a say. The baby growing inside Aster is mine. And if I don't take care of that child, the grimy wolves that wander the Seam dressed as men surely will. Catching my heavy breath, I know what I have to do.

**Authors note:**

Some of you may have noticed, some of you may have not, but I'm running this story in two versions with either Aster or Madge. And I'm planning on having this chapter settle which character wins, which story continues. I did it this way, because some fandoms aren't interested in OC's and since Gale/Madge already have a following, I thought I would throw it out there. So please, let me know which do you prefer Aster or Madge for this story, or both stories? Every comment/vote counts so please let me know what you think. Thank you.

Gale will have a real turn around in the way he approaches Aster starting next chapter now that he knows what's happening. I didn't want Gale to have an instant a-bout-face after learning Aster is pregnant. She's a girl he isn't fond of. So I wanted Gale to go through the motion, let the realization of what's happening come to him at a natural pace and then have him make the right choice. Which I do believe he would, make the right choice that is. Gale lives for his family, he's an honorable man, I believe he would step up for his child once the initial shock wore off and he dealt with his feelings about the situation.

As for the abuse in Aster's family, Peeta's mother in the books really set the foundation on that for me. Also, physical abuse is more prevalent in families of low SES as these families tend to experience more stressors and strains, among other issues. Since district twelve is the poorest district, I felt it was very likely Peeta wasn't the only person with a family like that. And having a family like that, I explain aster actions with Gale a little more, why she goes to the Seam.

**Authors note:**

Some of you may have noticed, some of you may have not, but I'm running this story in two versions with either Aster or Madge. And I'm planning on having this chapter settle which character wins, which story continues. I did it this way, because some fandoms aren't interested in OC's and since Gale/Madge already have a following, I thought I would throw it out there. So please, let me know which do you prefer Aster or Madge for this story, or both stories? Every comment/vote counts so please let me know what you think. Thank you.

This chapter was extremely emotionally charged, posibly the most emotionally intense chapter, and I really tried to write it with realism and honesty. I want to also explain my take on Aster going to see Mrs. Everdeen. It's a touchy topic and I really tried to be delicate. However, the book's makes such a point of how horrible the conditions are in district twelve, Katniss herself never even wanted to have kids, so I felt someone of Aster's age and in her situation would consider everything. She's desperate, and desperate people make desperate choices. If you hate it, try not to judge too hard.

Gale will have a real turn around in the way he approaches Aster starting next chapter now that he knows what's happening. I didn't want Gale to have an instant a-bout-face after learning Aster is pregnant. She's a girl he isn't fond of. So I wanted Gale to go through the motion, let the realization of what's happening come to him at a natural pace and then have him make the right choice. Which I do believe he would, make the right choice that is. Gale lives for his family, he's an honorable man, I believe he would step up for his child once the initial shock wore off and he dealt with his feelings about the situation.

As for the abuse in Aster's family, Peeta's mother in the books really set the foundation on that for me. Also, physical abuse is more prevalent in families of low SES as these families tend to experience more stressors and strains, among other issues. Since district twelve is the poorest district, I felt it was very likely Peeta wasn't the only person with a family like that. And having a family like that, I explain aster actions with Gale a little more, why she goes to the Seam.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors note:** I received a rather stern criticism about my story, but particularly my female character, for sleeping with Gale and getting pregnant. In all fairest the majority of the story is written from her perspective, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. With that said…

What struck me about their comment was a theme I see present in everyday life all the time. Some of you may be aware of it, some of you may not. So please, follow me for a moment… I'm make the assumption that less readers are mad at Gale than Aster, the reviewer certainly was. And the point I'm making here is…

It's different for girls. Girls are held to a very different standard than boys when it comes to their sexual activities. Why is that? There's a long list of answers, but I would much rather ask you, the reader to find one of your own. Next time you read or hear or see a situation and you're first instinct is the blame the female. I encourage you to stop for a moment and ask yourself why.

Some of you will blow this off, some of you will realize there's a real message in this.

* * *

**Truth, Bitter Truth**

It's been almost week to the day since I told Gale. A week that has felt like an eternity and a death sentence all in one breath. I've tried to keep myself busy. Not let the hurt take hold in my heart. Katniss has returned home, and I've been desperate to see her, to hug her, and tell her how happy I am that she's back, but the Capitol officials have kept her and Peeta on a short leash. I've only gotten to offer her a fleeting wave across the town square before another round of camera's whisked them away.

The reporters and cameras have been following her and Peeta's every move. Chronicling, their world win love affair and moving both victors into the plush estates of Victor's Village. Just one of many prizes awaiting Katniss and Peeta now that they've won the Hunger Games. I'm not sure what to think of her and Peeta. I could see how the games could bring them together, but I also know Katniss would do anything to stay alive.

Despite my best efforts to follow their news and focus on my friend's victory and return, I know I have to make a choice. Days ago, I came to the conclusion Gale wouldn't be standing by me. I haven't heard hide nor hair of him since I told him. That alone speaks louder than words. That leaves only two options… Attempt to make it on my own. Raise this baby with little help and no resources in a district where dying of starvation is common place, where children sent to the Hunger Games almost never return, and mining accidents are a regular threat.

Or option two… Mrs. Everdeen's offer still lingers in my head. I hate to look at it. It's the last thing I want to do, but I'm beginning to think it might be my only option of mercy. Mercy for both of us. But I hate to even think of it, because it's a choice that feels sick inside me. Makes me feel like I'm labeling this baby a mistake and just erasing it away. But in my heart I know that's not true. In my heart I know if I chose that it wouldn't erase anything. I would always know. I would always have to live with it. Nothing would ever be the same. So instead I keep myself busy. Trying to keep my distance from both my mind and heart. Buying myself another day, just another day.

It was late evening on a hot summer day, the air felt thick and sticky, and a heavy pungent smell hung in the air. I was just getting ready to finish up dinner, fried rabbit, when my grandmother's voice picks up quietly.

"Aster dear, I think there's someone here to see you." She says, from her chair beside the kitchen table. Keeping me company while I slave over a meal for a family that hardly cares besides her. Her eyes gaze out the window on our backdoor. Her words appearing purposefully quiet enough to be for my ears only.

Killing the flame on the burner, I step back the stove, wiping my greasy hands on a kitchen cloth as I move to the window to see who she's talking about. Not expecting anyone, I can't imagine who would be outside. My heart begins to pick up hoping maybe its Katniss or Peeta until my eyes survey our backyard and my heart sinks.

Sure enough, there he is, Gale Hawthorne standing just beyond my fence. Stoic and brooding look upon his face, standing tall, his shoulders squared as he continues to stare. His eyes catching mine instantly.

A fury begins to rumble inside me with the sight of him. "I'll be right back," I call to my grandmother as I place the kitchen cloth on the table and quickly escape out the back door, praying no one else has seen him.

Marching across my yard with quick hot steps, I easily move through the opening in the fence. Our eyes meet on my approach, but I don't say a word as I swiftly grab his hand and drag him back down the alley, away from my home. And hopefully away from prying eyes.

When we reach what I hope is a safe spot behind my neighbor's house, I release his hand as if his touch burns, and turn on him like a woman scorned.

"Are you crazy?! What if someone saw you?!" My lips fly with all the emotion that has been building inside me since the day Gale chose to stay mute on the hilltop. The day I needed him most. I had no idea how angry I really was with Gale Hawthorne until I find myself standing before him, a fire burning in my gut.

There's a look of surprise in his gray eyes, as if maybe he didn't realize I have this much spunk hidden inside me. And a spark in his pupils tells me maybe he even likes this change in my demeanor.

"So what if they did?" He throws back with a defiant shrug of his shoulders, as if he refuses to bow down to the people privileged enough to live in town.

"My brother probably would have called on the peacekeepers, that's what. Said you were trying to steal one of our pigs, or something." My words sternly lecture him as my eyes drill in with ridicule. Refusing to allow his fearlessness to take a hold in my heart like it usually would. I refuse to let Gale Hawthorne anywhere near my heart ever again.

His face seems to harden as if challenged, not necessarily by me, but the implication itself. "I'm not afraid of peacekeepers." He speaks without a flinch.

Letting out a huff as I roll my eyes, I've heard enough. Surely he didn't come all the way here just to debate his bold loathing of authority with me, and now I want to know why he came.

"What are you doing here, Gale?" I question him point blank, my eyes drill into his unflinchingly as I cross my arms to my chest. Not giving him an inch, not anymore.

He seems to grow uncomfortable with my question. Suddenly less confident then he was just moments ago. Reaching up, he scratches the back of his neck, fidgeting for a moment. Nodding to himself, he bites down on his lower lip as if internally contemplating something, before his eyes finally return to mine, and his lips come to life.

"I'm in." His breath is husky and low. His jaw flexing with the emphasis. His words cryptic.

I eyeball him for a moment as if he's only making this more unnecessarily confusing. "In what?" I ask, frustration lining my breath. Unclear of what he is getting at and in no mood to guess.

Taking me by surprise, rapidly Gale approaches me. I feel my breath catch, my feet stumbling back to create distance as he comes closer. When my back hits the fence, I'm forced to stop, but Gale doesn't. Not until he's practically flush against my body. My muscles tighten as I practically flinch with the closeness. I don't want him to touch me. That's the last thing I want. After last time, I don't trust myself this close to him. And I'm still too angry to let him have this kind of power over me.

There's intensity in his eyes as they barrel down upon me, a seriousness I can't define. And then I feel it, his hand slips between our bodies to rest upon my lower stomach. His touch is tender as if he's purposefully trying to be gentle.

"I'm in." He whispers on a husky breath that sends tingles running through my skin as his eyes never back down from mine. The look in his gaze steals my breath and screams louder than his touch that he means every word.

Lost in the spell only Gale seems to put me under, it takes me a moment to come back to my senses, but once I do, I'm shoving him back, away from me. My heart shooting to life as my eyes frantically scan down the alley and into neighboring homes to see if anyone has seen us. Knowing the repercussions I would face if someone did. Feeling fairly certain we've gone unnoticed, my eyes return to Gale standing across from me.

"Why?" I ask him bluntly. The first sign of emotion touching my orbs as they drill into him, because his declaration gives me a breath of hope I'm not going to be alone in this, but first, I need to know why he's changed his mind. I have to know he's certain before I give him an inch again.

Gale doesn't seem surprised by my question. Perhaps he figured I would question his intentions all along. Holding my eyes, he takes a step closer to me again, not too close, but close enough that only I can hear his answer, before dropping his gaze to the ground below.

"I know what's it's like to grow up without a father. I would never do that to my own child." Gale won't meet my eyes when he admits this, but I can hear the pain he's trying to hide on his breath. A wound I had almost forgotten he held. Quickly he steps back from me, creating the space he seems to sense I need.

Seeing that look in his eyes, hearing the vulnerability on his breath, I know he's telling the truth. He gets it, the implications of our situation, maybe even better than I do. I'm still hurt by the way things have played out between us. I don't know if I trust him with my heart, but now, I do know I trust him with our baby.

"Ok," I accept his answer. Accept him, and while I'm unclear of what this means for us, I at least know I'm not alone in this. And for the first time since I realized I'm pregnant I feel a weight lift off my chest.

A smile spreads wide across his face with my answer, as if he didn't expect me to give in so easily. As if he anticipated I'd continue to fight him. A smile I've only seen him offer to Katniss before, never me. It makes my heart involuntarily pick up its pace even though I know I still have to be cautious with my heart around him.

"My mom wants you to come for lunch tomorrow. It won't be much… She wants to meet you. Can you get away?" Gale stumbles on his words, on explaining himself. I get the feeling he's still as unsure about our new connection as I am. Never one with words, I can tell he's struggling to make this feel natural.

The day hits me, tomorrow is Sunday. His first day off since we talked, and I can't help but think maybe he's wanted to tell me for days now, but hasn't had the chance. A smile finds my lips to match his as I nod slowly. It's endearing the effort he's putting into making this not awkward or forced like we both know it really is.

"I'll be there." I agree. Swept up in the moment that has turned my life so completely around in such a short period of time I'm not sure how to take it all in.

Gale's lip twitches one last time, the side of his mouth curling up in a smile. "See you tomorrow." He calls in departure before walking back down the alley. Leaving me dazed, mind spinning as I try to piece it all together.

* * *

When I make it back inside my house, my sister in-law, Marigold is already waiting at the bottom on the stairs.

"Who was that boy you were with?" Her lips sneer as her eyes pierce me, her hand resting firmly on her jutted hip.

I stare her down for a moment. I loath this woman. She's everything I'm not and never want to be. Her heart is so cold only vain darkness radiates from her eyes.

"It was no one." I answer firmly, before returning to the stove to make sure the rabbit was in fact done when I pulled it from the burner.

"Didn't look like no one. Didn't look like he belonged around here at all." Her words hiss accusingly at my back. Self-righteousness thick on her breath as if she is so much better than the people struggling within the Seam.

Her words set fires within me and have me dying to make her eat her words. Spinning around to face her, my eyes meet Marigold's like a dare.

"What do you care?" I throw back at her. My eyebrows defiantly arched in a challenge.

"You're not actually getting involved with a boy from the Seam, are you?" My brother's low accusing voice picks up from the side entrance to the kitchen. I hadn't even realized he was here until now. My eyes dart between Marigold and my brother, weighing the moment. I know now would be a good time to shut up. The warning in my brother's voice implies as much, but I don't feel like backing down this time.

Because after my talk with Gale, I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep my secret. Which means I might not be here that much longer anyway. That knowledge empowers me to throw to the side civility for the sake of peace and really let them know how I feel. In a way that I rarely do out of fear of the repercussion, but right now, I don't give a damn.

Turning to my brother my gaze locks with his. "And what if I am? You're just pissed that I might not be the pure little bride you'd like when you go to sell me off to the highest bidder." I practically spit at him. Vile hatred oozing off my breath as I don't even try to hide my true feelings.

Swiftly punishment is handed down. "Silence!" He hollers as he charges at me so fast I barely see him move until I feel the back of his hand slam into my cheek. The force of it sending me crashing to the wooden floor below.

On instinct, my hand rises to the burning spot on my cheekbone. It stings to the touch and as I pull my hand back I find blood on my fingertips. His ring have cut across my skin with the blow. I'm shocked into silence. I know I should have seen this coming, it's a rare occasion when he's anything, but cold and removed from me.

Our relationship is complicated and often fraught with physical conflict that crosses the line, but he's only ever smacked me across the face a handful of times. Times when I really pushed him, like I should have known I was doing today. I just didn't see it coming. So caught up in my own anger I didn't realized I had crossed that line until I found myself down here, on the floor.

"Lydle!" My grandmother sheiks in horror as she struggles to rise up from her seat at the table and go to me. She tries to stay out of our conflicts, too old to wage war, and nearly defenseless if he turned on her, but she's always quick to let my brother know when he's gone too far.

"Don't!" He yells at our grandmother, furry still in control of him. Warning her to not even think about getting in the middle of this.

Refusing to let him know he's hurt me. That he's surprised me, and caught me off guard, I force myself back onto my feet. My legs are shaky with adrenaline, but I try my hardest to keep them steady. My eyes meet my brother's as I glare at him with all the hatred barely contained inside me.

"Make your own damn dinner." I hiss, before swiftly turning on my heels and heading for the stairs. The sly smile on Marigolds satisfied face has me pushing her out of my way as I charge upstairs into the bathroom and lock the door behind me.

* * *

Navigating through the cinder streets of the Seam, dotted with houses that are barely standing. I know which one is Gale's from the handful of times with Katniss we passed by it after a day in the woods. My stomach feels like it's in knots as I near Gale's home. I don't know what to expect. I've never met his family and I can only imagine what his mother must think of me given the current situation I'm in with her son.

On top of that, I still don't know where I stand with Gale. I believe he will be there for me with the baby, but what that means for us, I don't know. I'm not foolish enough to think that just, because I'm having his baby he's suddenly going to fall for me. And I'm not sure I would want that anyway. I'm not sure how I feel about Gale being near my heart right now. All the unanswered questions, all the uncertainty, it has my palms sweating and not just because of the sticky heat of summer in the Appalachians.

* * *

There's a knock at the door and Rory is scrambling to answer it before I can even make a move. "Is Gale here?" I hear a nervous meek voice call with uncertainty from the door. My eyes turn toward the door, but still I don't move. Giving myself a few more moments to work up my nerve to face this, face her with my family.

I hear Rory let out a whistle of approval with the sight of Aster. A little tune sung to the pretty girls in the Seam as they pass by. I can't hold back the mischievous smirk that fills my lips with the sound of it, knowing in all inevitability he picked it up from me. Going on thirteen, Rory is gangly limbs and full of hormones, and completely hopeless about minding his manners around a pretty girl.

My mother is quick to reach the door next. A woman who's lived a hard unfair life, but hasn't let it steal the light in her eyes. I've heard people talk, they say she's a natural beauty with shiny dark hair and haunting gray eyes. I find touches of myself in her as I grow older, but she insist I'm still a mirror image of my father. A compliment I wear with pride, since me and my siblings are that's left of him. "Alright, that's enough." I hear my mother shoo Rory away.

I can already picture it, she'll greets Aster at the door with a smile. "You'll have to excuse Rory. He forgets his manners sometimes. Please come in." I finally turn around and face the door. My mother has a gentle hand on Aster's shoulder as she leads me into my home. I watch Aster's evergreen eyes survey the place and I find myself doing the same. Really looking at it for the first time in perhaps forever. Trying to see it through her eyes.

The walls look solid enough, but nearly chipped of all remaining paint. There's a hearth in the center of the main room. Our only source of heat in the winter. Off to the side there are three doors. Two bedrooms and one bathroom. What Aster doesn't know is I still share a room with Rory and Vick, two flat mattresses on rusty brass frames, while my mother and Posy take the smaller room.

My eyes roam our small kitchen lined with the most rudimentary basics; wood burning stove, rusty metal sink, splinter riddled table. I know my house screams of dire poverty, but it's warm with love and that's more than can be said about a lot of the town homes.

My eyes stop roaming when I find Aster's orbs heavy upon me. I know it's time to face this and be a gentleman before my mother's patience wears thin, so I move toward to door.

"Hey," I offer her a welcoming smile, trying to ease the nerves in her eyes as they stay glued to mine. While I try to loosen the tension tight in my shoulders. Revealing I'm as unsure by this whole thing as she is.

"Hi," She smiles back, something flashes across her eyes fleetingly. If I'm not mistaken, it looked like a silent yearning reaching out for me, but I don't know Aster well enough to know for certain.

Before I can delve deeper into what's hiding in Aster's eyes, my mother pulls her into a hug. The kind that feels warm and can make even the worst day a little better. Saying without words, she's already accepted Aster as a part of the family. I'm surprised when I watch Aster eagerly return the embrace. When they pull back, my mother's hands fall to the wavy locks framing Aster's face. Quietly taking note, as her eyes seem to light up with approval to what she sees.

"You're beautiful," My mother says in the sweetest of ways. Her voice shining through her words as her eyes leave Aster and fall onto me beside her. Sending me a mischievous grin and an 'all knowing' gleam in her eyes. I hear what's saying, she sees now why this predicament transpired and I can't help, but rolls my eyes in response.

"Alright mom, give her a little room." I laugh off her teasing, reaching out to place a gentle hand on Aster's back and tug her closer to my side. She lets me take her, lets me guide her as I introduce her to the rest of the Hawthorne clan. Three more faces come into view as my mother steps to the side. Letting my thumb rub faintly at her lower back, I speak up.

"You met Rory," I point out first. "That's Vick," My hand gestures towards the younger one. Twelve and ten, but they look just like me; dark hair and gray eyes, growing like weeds every day. The unmistakable markings of living in the Seam.

They are my brother's and I'd die for them. Risked my life beyond the fence for years, and now risk my life every day in the mines so they can have better than I had. So they never have to take out tesserae's.

"And the little one's Posy." The introduction barely leaves my lips before Posy quickly approaches Aster. Stopping just before her with big brown eyes staring up at us. Posy looks like a little angel with those big eyes, round rosy cheeks, and shiny brown locks. And to me she is one. She's the light of life, the apple of my eye, in my eyes she's practically mine.

"Do you like books?" Posy questions Aster in a tiny sing song voice. Her eyes seeming to grow wider in anticipation of Aster's answer. Posy loves to read. A characteristic rarely found in the Seam, and not shared by her brothers, but from the day she was born I always felt Posy would best the best of us.

"I love books." Aster easily replies with a smile that sends my gaze falling down upon her. A smile spreading across my face as she pleases my sister. And before I can register the shift, Posy has Aster by the hand and is dragging her off to her room. "You can read me my favorite book." Posy cheers, pleased with Aster's response.

Aster's eyes shoot back to mine as she's dragged away, and I can't hold back the amused chuckle that leaves my lips with the sight, but something else stirs in my chest with her gentleness toward my sister. A feeling I can't quite pinpoint or identify, but it's something I know I've never felt for her until now.

* * *

When the day begins to come to a close, when the sun begins to lower and the air holds heavy from hours of heat, Gale walks me back to my home. We take the back alleys where less people will see us. Where we are less likely to have to explain why we're together. Overall, the day went better than I ever could have expected. Walking to Gale's home I hadn't known what to expect, but what I found was a family that really loves each other, and is willing to welcome me without judgment for the crimes that gained me entry.

Even Gale seems lighter around me. The strong muscles in his shoulders no longer hold tight when I'm near, his jaw no longer clenches when I speak. I even managed to muster a few laughs out of him today. Who knew I was capable of drawing that kind of amusement out of him. And his eyes, his eyes finally look at me like they're willing to give me a chance.

The day replays in my mind as we stroll through the back streets. Our eyes innocently catching every once in a while. I had read his sister Posy her favorite book so many times I think I might know the words by heart now, but I didn't mind, she's irresistible.

I helped Hazelle with the wash she did to earn money for her family. Even though she adamantly insisted I didn't need to, but I wanted to. A chance to say thank you for being kind to me, for welcoming me into her home. Our suds covered hands had scrubbed fabric against the washboard most of the afternoon, while watching on with amusement and laughter as Vick and Rory egged Gale on with every chance they could get.

Gale cooked up a rabbit soup he caught in the woods earlier that morning. Gale didn't judge me, even when I had made the mistake of approaching him while he skinned it, leaving me barely making it out his front door before I emptied my stomach. I thought he'd be angry. Interpret my actions as disgust, as if I was too good to eat the game he had hunted, but he surprised me.

Pulling my hair back from my face as I made a fool out of myself over the side of his porch railing. Offering me a glass of water and a mint leaf once I was sure I was done, with a few simply words he expressed that he knew it was the baby, the pregnancy. That was a real turning point for us. The moment I realized Gale might not just be there for the baby. He might be there for me too. Not as a boyfriend, but a partner of sorts in this predicament.

As we near my house our feet stop. Both seeming to understand the need to not have my family find out just yet. We turn to each other, awkward smiles on our faces, unsure of what to say, and that's when I make my fatal mistake. Out of nervous habit, I brush my locks behind my hair, and instantly I watch as the look in Gale's eyes shifts.

"Where'd you get that?" He questions me, his eyes narrowing as his hand reaches out for me. Cupping my cheek, as his thumb gently sweeps across my bruised and cut flesh. Touching my face for the first time since that day in the woods. Normally his touch would leave tingles in its wake, but this time I practically flinch, this is too potentially problematic to let those feelings come to the surface.

It feels like my heart stops for a moment as my pupil dilates with shock. I can't believe I forgot it's there. I had made such a point this afternoon to make sure no one saw it. I knew I could pull it off. The mark is close to my hairline, high up on my cheekbone. The bruise dark, the cut already a rough scab, but my wavy thick hair hides it well. And I almost make it home free until I mistakenly reveal it for Gale to see.

"It's nothing." I explain, with a brief dismissive shake to my head. My heart shooting back to life as I avoid his eyes.

He isn't buying it and he isn't letting go either. "Doesn't look like nothing." Gale pursues it with stubborn determination, stepping closer to me. I'm sure he's coming in for a better look as his thumb gently grazes it again.

My heart begins race, I feel like the ground is going to drop out from under me at any moment as I grab Gale's wrist and firmly pull his hand free of my face. Stepping back from him to create distance, my eyes hit him directly.

"Well it is." I insist. This is my problem, my family, and I'm not the only one in district twelve with it. This is one thing I have no intention of sharing with Gale. This is one thing I don't want him getting in the middle of and by the look on his face he thinks it's is a problem he might need to handle. And that's the last thing I want.

Gale licks his lips, looking me over silently for a moment as the wheels turn behind his eyes, deep with thought.

"That why you wander the Seam looking for something, go into the wood with me and Katniss like you're one of us? Is that why you were in the woods that day? Is that what you're running from?" Gale's words are low on his breath and I can see in his eyes he thinks he's figured it all out. Figured me out. As if I never made sense to him until now.

I'm challenged by his words. Words that in some ways hit a little more close to home than I'd like to admit, even to myself. "I'm not running." I throw back at him. Our eyes lock in a heated standoff. I refuse to look weak in his eyes right now. Weak in a way that I feel this situation is already painting me.

Gale meets my challenge and throws it back at me. "Then who did that to you?" He questions me directly. Daring me to give a name or admit that this is shamefully secret in a way that keeps my lips silent.

Knowing I can't win this fight. He's cornered me and I either fess up or admit he's right. So I try another approach. Try to reason with him. "It's not a big deal. Things just got out of hand. Haven't you ever lost your temper before?" I try to make him understand.

Stepping to me, Gale invades my space and seems to swallow the world around him. The tightness of his jaw tells me he has. He's lost his temper on more than one occasion, and how could he not with all that passion burning in his gut. But the look in his eyes says he'd never take it out on a girl.

"Who?" Gale whispers to me and this time there's no challenge in his eyes. His gaze is probing, but softer than before, and I can feel myself caving.

I close my eyes, not wanting to see the look on his face. "…My brother," I whisper. Knowing this news has the potential to set fires.

Knowing Gale probably hates him. Everyone hates Lydle. He's pretentious, self-righteous, and rude. He's not half the man my father was. That's why the family business has never recovered since my parent's death. Sucking in a sharp breath, I bite down hard on my lower lip. I don't want to see the look on his face, but my eyes are forced to open when I hear his feet moving away. I open my eyes to find Gale moving quickly down the alley, taking off for my backyard.

"Gale!" I holler urgently at his back, chasing after him, but he's quick. I reach my backyard just in time to see Gale banging on the door before Lydle opens it and Gale greets him with a tightly closed fist sent into his face. In an instant they disappear inside my home as my brother falls back and Gale goes after him, clearly not finished.

Heart shooting to life in my chest, I race up my backyard, faster than I've ever moved across it before, and in seconds I'm in the entryway. I barely register the sight of Gale on my kitchen floor, my brother pinned beneath him, his face already battered as Gale sends another punch flying.

"Stop it!" I scream at them. My heart pounding out of control, but before I can move, I feel Marigold shove me hard out of the doorway. My side slams into the edge of the table, a shooting pain rips through my abdomen as I let out a sharp cry.

"Aster!" I hear Gale call out to me, his voice thick with concern amidst the chaos. I find his deep worried eyes upon me, worried about the baby I'm sure, before my brother takes this moment of distraction to sock Gale in the face. My brother might be a weasel and a bully, but he doesn't go down without a fight. "Stop it!" I scream again, unsure of who I'm yelling at.

Then Marigold's voice hits my ears, pitched and frantic. She's at the back door, screaming for help, screaming for peacekeepers. That's when I realize she had shoved me out of the way to get to the door. To get help for Lydle. I know if peacekeepers come now Gale will be in unimaginable trouble. He could be flogged, or worse. A boy from the Seam assaulting a merchant in his home, they wouldn't care what the situation was, the punishment would be severe.

Reacting on instinct to protect Gale, I grab Marigold's arm and swiftly yank her into the house. Slamming the door shut, I step between it and her. I can hear my brother and Gale still fighting it out on the floor, but my eyes are locked on Marigold's as she charges at me to get back outside.

All the anger, all the years of hatred I've let brew inside me for both her and my brother come spilling out as I raise my tightly closed fist and send it flying into her face. Doing what I have to do to protect Gale who's fighting for what he thinks is right on the floor. Protecting him the way I think he's trying to protect the mother of his unborn child.

I don't know what I hit, but I know I made contact as my knuckles instantly throb and I hear her hit the floor below.

My brother's voice hits my ears next. "Marigold!" He cries out, and I'm astonished by the amount of emotion on his breath. I look down at her, her horrified eyes gazing up at me as her cups her bloody nose, but doesn't try to get back up.

"Stay down!" I hear Gale order beside me. My eyes shooting to him and I finally see the damage done. His lip is split open, his eye red and swelling, but my brother looks worse. Like a mess of creamy flesh and smeared blood. He's conscious, he'll recover, but it's not likely he'll ever forget being put in his place by a miner from the Seam.

"Gale," my voice quivers with adrenaline from the last few minutes as I step to him.

"I'm fine." He barks as the back of his hand wipes the blood dripping from his lip. His strength still held in front of him like a weapon, commanding the room. His eyes stay locked on my brother, still down on the floor, when he speaks again.

"Get your stuff, Aster." Gale orders me in a calm, but direct voice. I'm confused by what he's telling me. What does he mean go get my stuff? My already racing heart picks up its pace and my mind can barely grasp the magnitude of what he's saying. I don't want this. Things haven't spiraled that far out of control, have they? This is my home. And it may be ugly and it may be broken in a lot of ways, but it's still the only home I've ever known. It's the only place I've ever lived with my parents before they…

"What are you talking about, Gale?" I question him firmly, my voice wavering with emotion as I try to make him see the weight of his words.

Gale hears me, his stare finally breaking from my brother as his sympathetic eyes shoot to me and make contact.

"It isn't safe here for you or the baby, Aster. He shouldn't hurt you like that. It's not right. Go get your stuff… Trust me, ok?" His voice is gentler this time. And the look in his eyes tells me he knows what he's asking of me. To blindly trust him to take care of not only our baby, but myself as well. The pledge in his pupil swears he will, swears he'll add me to the list of people he's already responsible for. I just have to take the leap of faith.

"Baby?" I hear my brother choke out past blood smeared lips in response.

Not enough time to think this one over, not with the tension suffocatingly thick in the room. Trusting my gut, trusting him, I make a split second decision, and race up the stairs. Knowing I've barely begun to process something this enormous. All I know is I'm not staying here anymore. I don't know where I'm going or what's going too happened, but I'm leaving.

Shoving open my bedroom door, I go for my old travel chest in the far corner of my room. Flipping it open I quickly fill it with anything I think I might need. Knowing I probably won't be able to come back for anything else. I know I can't take everything. So I stick to the basic needs and then a few token items I know my heart won't be able to live without.

Dragging the chest from my room, I move as quickly as I can back down the stairs. The look on Gale's face when he sees the chest is a priceless mixture of disbelief and shock. I don't bother explaining, we don't have time. The urgency in my chest tells me this is a very tenuous situation that could pop off at any moment, and we need to leave as quickly as we can. Dragging the chest to the back door, I feel a warm hand touch my arm and instantly I know it's my grandmother. In all the chaos I hadn't seen her come in.

Our eyes lock as I rise. Tears welling in my eyes, because I don't know if this is the last time I'll see her. I want to take her with me, but I know I can't. I want to tell her what she means to me, how grateful I am for everything does done for me, but there isn't enough to time to do it sufficiently. Gently she wraps me in her arms.

"You're going to be just fine. We are strong women in this family." She whispers against my hair. Reassuring me I can do this, believing I'm strong enough. Our embrace, is brief, too brief, but time isn't on my side.

When we pull apart, Gale is at my side. "We need to go." His intense eyes sending me the weight of his words. Nodding, I step for the door when suddenly he stops.

I turn back to see my grandmother touching Gale's hand, their eyes locked. "Take care of my sweet girl." She says, tears shinning in her eyes with the importance of her only request.

Gale never looks away as he easily answers her. "I will." He promises. I can hear it on his breath, it's the kind of promise he wouldn't make unless he was committed to keeping it.

We go to leave when my brother's voice finally picks up. "You step out that door and I'll have peacekeepers on you before you make it to the Seam." He sneers, blood smeared across his pearly whites.

Gale practically growls as he steps to him in response, but I halt him with a touch. Saying without words, this one's my fight. Going to my brother, I kneel down before him. One of his eyes is swollen shut, the other daring me with his gaze, and I dare him right back.

"You heard right, I'm pregnant, and you are not going to interfere with my life anymore, because if you do, I'll tell the peacekeepers you've been lying about the store's income. I know you've been hiding away money. I know where you keep it. Now which crime do you think they'll care more about, assault or treason?" My words slip out like a slap to his face. I watch his eyes grow wide with horror before a quiet angry resolve sets in.

"Don't ever come back." He hisses at me, and I know I've made my point. He isn't going to say a word. He knows it'll cost him too dearly. Rising to my feet, I walk to Gale who's managed to hoist my travel chest up on his broad shoulder.

"I won't." I leave as a parting promise. Silently praying I won't have to eat those words one day. Never looking back because it would be too hard, moving to the door I feel Gale's hand on my lower back leading me out. Giving my grandmother one last smile that I hope conveys all the love I have for her, how grateful I am to have had her, and then we're off.

We make it out my yard and into the alley before we take off into a run just to be on the safe side. Gale keeps his word and doesn't bale on me that the Seam. And I never look back.

* * *

**Authors Note:**

The main point I was trying to make with Gale in this chapter is that he is a man of principle and responsibility. In the end of last chapter Gale had come to terms with this baby being an added responsibility. And in this chapter after being there for Aster when she got sick, but especially after discovering her family issues, he's decided she too is another responsibility he's going to take on, because she's the mother of his child. Which goes back to the fact that Gale's a man of principle, and caring for Aster because she's the mother of his child is the right thing to do in his eyes. Also, Gale does begin to see Aster differently in this chapter. He begins to see she's different than the privileged naïve girl he wrote her off as. Because of their situation he's allowing himself to see the different sides of her in a way that he wouldn't have been interested to before.

In this chapter you get to see the stronger side of Aster. She still feels unsure of herself around Gale, she still struggles with her feelings toward him, but she's trying to control those feelings instead of letting them control her. She's trying to take more control over her life. By the end of the chapter Aster chooses to take a leap of faith with Gale. And that really stems from her desire to want to trust him, because she does like him, while still not being sure she can trust him. As for her family, it finally reached a boiling point where Aster knew there was no turning back.

As for the vote, I realize now it was very confusing for most and ended in a tie anyway. So I'm just going to continue both stories. Feedback is highly encouraged. Please let me know what you think about the story, the characters, where things are headed. I love knowing what you guys think.


	4. Chapter 4

**It's Different for Girls**

_Staring at the ceiling in the dark,  
Same old empty feeling in your heart  
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast_

When we arrive back at Gale's home, Hazelle nearly loses all composure to the sight of her son's battle weary face and the back story that came with it. Certain peacekeepers would come bursting through the door at any moment demanding her son's head. It went without saying, people in the Seam weren't allowed to lay a hand on those that can afford to live in town, not for any reason. Or the punishment would be swift and merciless.

It took several frantic minutes of reassurance and explaining the situation Gale and I convince Hazelle that no one would be coming for retribution. After cleaning the smeared blood from Gale's face and getting him a cool cloth for his swollen eye, Hazelle promptly rounded us up, and we were on the move before I ever knew where we were headed.

If I thought the first half the day had been a whirlwind, nothing could have prepared me for what came next. I find the three of us marching over to Katniss's new house in the Victors Village. Like a herd of wandering sheep, Hazelle leads the way with Posy in toe, Gale close behind, myself just a step behind him, while Rory and Vick lagged behind. As we arrive we're greeted by an old stone fence that doesn't enclose the village, but rather dies in a sudden awkward fashion.

This is the farthest I've ever been to this place. Never daring place this point, never venturing further into a place that always struck as creepy. We pass under the iron arch at the center of the fence, following the pebble path that leads into the village. It's an eerie and depressing place, maybe it's because too few people live here, and most of the windows are dark and lifeless. The moment I step here, my heart sinks just a little.

The homes are luxurious at first glance, but uniform. Twelve grand homes, made of solid white marble that only money buys. The homes look stronger and better built than the other ones in district twelve. Only fitting for someone who was strong enough to survive the arena. Victor's Village is a sight to see for its grandeur, but almost worth missing for its gloomy feeling. I find myself fascinated by this ghost town until golden locks distract me from its wonder and my eyes meet Mrs. Everdeen's, the secrets we share passing between us with a glance.

As we're ushered inside, I find myself mesmerized by the delicate detailing of Katniss's new home. At the sight of Gale Mrs. Everdeen ushers us into the room she's sectioned off for her apothecary healing. I can't help, but soak up the pearly white walls with ornate crown molding, elegant wooden stairs, soft cushy carpet, and rooms bigger than whole homes in the Seam.

When I finally get my bearings, I notice Gale is seated in a chair while Prim hands him another cool cloth for his swollen eye, and Mrs. Everdeen applies an ointment to Gale's split lip. A homemade concoction that from the look on Gale's scrunched upper lip doesn't taste as good as it heals. Posy is scrambling up onto Gale's lap as Prim and her mother finish their work. My ears take brief note of Hazelle and Mrs. Everdeen's hushed conversation going on around us, clearly not meant for our ears.

"Does it hurt?" Posy's tiny voice chimes with curiosity, drowning out Hazelle and Mrs. Everdeen hushed tones. Her inquisitive little hand reaching up for Gale's split lip, his much larger one catching hers just before she touches his cut.

"Yeah, it does, Pose. So we probably shouldn't touch it." He explains in the gentlest of voices as he brings her back down to his lap, giving her hand quick little squeeze of reassurance. Watching Gale with Posy, stirs feelings inside me I didn't know I had. It has me wondering if he'll be this wonderful with our baby. The answer that echoes through me is he will.

Catching my eyes on him, a concern quickly builds in his eyes as Gale reaches out suddenly, taking my hand. Gently pulling me to his side, at his side he releases my hand as his comes to rest at the side of my stomach where I slammed into the table during the fight. His brows furrow as his eyes hold glued to my stomach, his thumb aimlessly caressing the spot before he speaks up. "Mrs. Everdeen, think you could take a look at Aster, too?

"Sure, where did she…" She starts to ask, but stops as she notices where Gale's hand rests, where his eyes stay glued, where a stubtle ache still lingers.

Taking note that I am wearing a dress, she suggests we step into the study just a room over for privacy. Once we're alone, awkwardly I pull up my dress and finally get a good look at the deep red bruise already beginning to form. Mrs. Everdeen presses gently, but skillfully upon my abdomen.

"Does that hurt?" She questions in a matter of fact voice. It always amazes by the difference between Mrs. Everdeen Katniss's mom and Mrs. Everdeen district, the twelve healer.

"A little." I admit. It's not a mind consuming discomfort, but now that she's mentions it I notice it.

"Any cramping, bleeding?" She continues to rattle off as she steps back and I pull my dress back down.

The meaning behind her questions finally hit me. My chest tightens as my breath catches, my hand comes to rest upon my lower stomach, my baby. I bite down on my lower lip and shake my head.

"I don't think so." My voice is shaky my mind clouded, I hadn't realized how close it had come to until Mrs. Everdeen questioned me. I suddenly feel fiercely protective of my stomach. It hadn't even occurred to me that the baby could have been hurt, but it did to Gale. In that moment, I'm so thankful I have him here to catch what I miss. His experience with pregnancy, babies, and children might just be our saving grace.

"Alright, it looks like it missed your uterus. You're going to have a nasty bruise, but I think you and the baby will be fine. But if anything should change, if you should have cramping or bleeding, even just spotting, you need to lie down and have someone send for me right away." She directs and I nod, the thought alone choking me up. I still have so many mixed feelings about being pregnant, but the thought of losing the baby now terrifies me. It reveals to me that I'm growing more connected to this baby than I even realized.

* * *

Returning to the others, I notice Hazelle and Mrs. Everdeen share a peculiar look between them. "Would it be alright if Prim showed the kids around the new house while we have a word with Gale and Aster?" Hazelle questions.

Mrs. Evendeen's eyes meet her youngest daughter's before giving a nod of approval and despite Rory grumbling under his breath about not being a kid, the room cleared out fairly quickly. It makes Gale and I share a glance unsure of what's coming next.

Once the sound of little feet was heard climbing the staircase, the two matriarchs finally turn to me and Gale and with a single statement remove any hope our lives will ever been normal again.

"You'll need to marry as soon as possible." Hazelle directs at both of us, but her eyes linger a little longer at Gale. Her orbs scan between us as we now stand side by side yet precariously not together.

Instantly I'm shot into a reality that feels unreal. Marriage? Me and Gale? It sounds absurd even as it rattles about in my mind. My mouth opens to protest, but my tongue ties in on itself and nothing coherent formulates. Just a few babbled sounds that don't form into identifiable words. Thankfully Gale seems to share in my bewilderment at the statement, only his mouth seems to be working just fine as a word comes shooting out past his lips in a shocked response.

"What?" He practically chokes out.

"They'll ostracize her if you don't." Mrs. Everdeen is quick to sum up the ramifications of the situation.

"She's right, Gale. I had hoped we'd have more time before I had to bring this up, son, but after the events of this afternoon, we no longer have time to wait. People are going to find out she's pregnant and if they find out before you've made her your wife, anyone sensible will shun her and the baby, and they will be targeted by the unreasonable. Especially because she comes from a good merchant family. This is the only way to stop that and it needs to be done as soon as possible to avoid any further shame." Hazelle's eyes drip with sympathy. It's plain to see she hates laying this upon Gale, but the weight on her breath makes it clear. She believes this is a necessity.

Yet still her words leave my mind spinning. Shunned, disrespected, ostracized, I want to scream, why? Why will I be blamed? Gale had just as much a part in making this baby as I did. But I already know the answer. Gale could have any girl he wants, as many as he pleases within reason. It's different for girls. No one would care if he's the only person I've ever given myself to. No one would care it was a rash decision based on genuine feelings.

People are only going to care that I'm pregnant and if Gale won't claim me, respect me enough to make me his wife, then no one else will either… I hear the unspoken words Mrs. Everdeen and Hazelle won't say, I'll be seen as a whore, disposable, vulnerable. We might have almost nothing in District Twelve, but we still have our standards, our moral code, and when broken the ability to judge each other to an unjust degree.

I can feel Gale's gaze heavy upon me before I turn to meet his stare. He swallows hard before his gaze drops to what I think must be my still flat stomach. His mind running behind his haunting eyes, seeming to contemplate our predicament. The choice rest ultimately in his hands. If he's against it, I certainly can't make him marry me; not that I'd want to. His orbs are dark and twisted by emotion. I can make out sadness, remorse, and nobility, but there's other emotions dancing in the depths of his eyes I can't identify. Emotions too fleeting for me to pinpoint before his face turns back to his mother as if his mind's made up.

"Fine," Gale agrees on a heavy breath.

I know why Gale did it, why he agrees. I see now, Gale is a man of principle, of honor. That's why he's going to stand by me and the baby, why he's willing to marry me. It's the honorable thing to do, even if it breaks his heart, even if he thinks he could never love me. All eyes fall to me now, as my heart races uncontrollably within the tight confines of my chest. Marriage is forever. That's what I've been taught, that's all that I know, and it's usually the case in district twelve.

A few months ago if someone had told me I would have the chance to marry Gale Hawthorne I would have laughed in their face, but been elated by the prospect, but this doesn't spur on feelings of joy. I know Gale is only doing it out of duty, to save me, and while I respect him for it, my heart also breaks at the thought.

This would be a sacrifice for both of us. To spend our lives together, because of one stupid moment in the woods, sounds ridiculous. I'm beginning to see we're going to be making a lot of sacrifices now that we're having a baby, but I'm not sure I can do this one, put us through this. Feeling a heaviness on my heart I can't seem to subside, I look straight ahead, and refuse to make myself a trap Gale has fallen into.

"No," I answer, my voice just loud enough to be heard.

"You're pregnant?" A voice picks up from behind me. A voice I'd know anywhere. A voice that sends a shiver running down my spine.

"Katniss," Gale practically spits out in shock. All eyes suddenly glued upon our staring victor, the last person we expected to see.

"It's not what it seems." HIs lips fumble.

Katniss's eyes pin Gale with a pointed unsure stare. "Then Aster's not pregnant?" Katniss questions, confusion filling her eyes as her orbs dart between the two of us searching out clarification.

I want to say something, explain, but this feels like a moment that belongs to Gale and Katniss, not me.

"She is, but…" Gale fumbles, never able to lie to her, I can see it in his eyes, the strain on his face, and how he's struggling to find the words. "After the reaping's everything just went to hell. I couldn't do anything. I had to do something. I just…" Gale's voice dips low with emotion as his pleading eyes never leave Katniss's.

This is breaking his heart to explain to the girl he loves how he got someone else pregnant. My heart can't help, but break for him this moment. It's so plain to see where his heart lies, and while part of me wants to hate him for that, I can't. I always knew the truth. I can't hold it against him now just because the situation has changed, and we're not changing fast enough with it.

"It was a mistake." I finally speak up with a heavy heart. Putting him out of his misery. Admitting the words I couldn't bear to hear Gale say a week ago. The words he was struggling to find. Because as much as they hurt to hear, it doesn't make them any less true. And if anyone deserve to hear the real truth about us, it's Katniss. The person our actions may have betrayed the most.

Katniss's eyes meet mine, the pain in her pupils mirrors my own, and feels unbearable to look upon. For the first time I see that maybe it wasn't just Gale who had feelings for Katniss, but Katniss who had feelings for Gale too.

"I'm sorry… Please excuse me" I muster on a beaten breath. Breaking her stare, I drop my head in shame, and move for the door. Needing to escape before the emotions wrestling inside me sends tears falling in front of everyone.

* * *

I'm furious with Aster as a chase off after her down the main walkway of Victor's Village. Have half a mind to not go after her at all, but my mother insisted and she's a hard woman to argue with. The look in Katniss's eyes haunts me with each stomping step. The news had hurt her, I had hurt her. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. She had made it out of the arena. She had survived the games. This was my second chance, and now I feel it slipping away with every a move I make toward Aster.

A girl who has me twisted up inside. She barely made my radar before all this. Just a blimp on the horizon. A girl I knew but didn't know. And now I'm supposed to convince her to be my damn wife. She's surprised me, I'll give her that. Keeps surprising me, she's not who I thought she was. She's not the privileged naïve little merchant girl I wrote her off as, but she's not Katniss either, and that eats at me. Now more than ever. Now that I can't get the look of Katniss's eyes out of my mind. The betrayal in her eyes aimed squarely at me.

By the time I reach Aster I'm practically fuming. Grabbing her arm, I swiftly halt her next step, and abruptly we fall into a stop. My grip forces her to face me before my heated words come to life.

"What's your problem?" I throw accusingly at her. My lack of patience thick on my breath. I know what my mom would say, _take it easy on her, you're both struggling right now and taking it out on each other won't help. _But I can't fight what's brewing inside me. My life is falling apart, all because of what's growing inside of her.

Aster takes me by surprise when she yanks her arm from my grasp. I didn't know such a small girl could have so much strength, but after watching her deck her sister in-law, I guess I should.

"This whole mess is my problem, Gale. You're my problem." She throws back fighting words at me. Her eyes like darts shooting into my own and I can tell she's as fired up as I am.

The anger oozing off her only fuels the flames. What could she possibly be angry with me about? I have turned my world upside down for her. Given her everything I have to offer. Hell, I even broke Katniss's heart for her and this is the thanks I get in return. Despite my better judgment I find myself finally exploding under a pressure that's been building since the moment she told me she was pregnant and placed the world on my shoulders.

"What do you want from me? I'm gonna take care of you and this baby, I'm willing to marry you, but what, we're not supposed to call this what it is, a mistake? Or, is this because you're too ashamed to be with a miner from the Seam? I'm doing the best that I can here, Aster! I didn't ask for this to happen!" My voice is loud and bellowing I don't know if anyone is within hearing but it's clear I've made a scene. I couldn't hold it in anymore, though. Everything that has been twisting inside me finally exploded to the surface. And judging by the fire igniting in her eyes, Aster has a few things she'd like to get of her chest too.

"You think I wanted this? I have lost everything! My home, my family! I don't know if I'll ever see my grandmother again! And now I'm supposed to marry you! Don't insult me by making this a town Seam issue, Gale. I said no, because you can barely stand me! Excuse me for not wanting to marry a man who's only with me out of duty while longing for someone else! We're only in this mess, because I let my stupid feelings for you cloud my judgment and allow me to make the biggest mistake of my life!" She screams at me. Her nostrils flaring, lips trembling as the emotion shooting from her borders on being more than her body can bear. But it's her words that get to me.

I never thought of any of that. I never thought about her side, what she'd be giving up. I've been so wrapped up in my own sacrifice I haven't noticed the giant one she's making too. Another thing she said strikes me where it hurts. She has feelings for me, real ones.

Earlier today when I found that bruise on her cheek and learned the truth of its origin, I felt certain that's why she wanders into the woods, why she gave into me. But now I see I was wrong. She gave herself to me, because she holds a spark for me, and that complicates this situation even worse.

I purposefully lower my voice, take a deep breath to cool our burners. "I promised you and your grandmother I would take care of you. That's a promise I intend to keep. That's what I'm trying to do here." I try to reason with her, because she might wander the Seam, but she is still cloaked in the shield of a town citizen. She has no idea how ugly and cruel it can truly be, and that's why I'm willing to do this. Do whatever it takes to protect my child and keep my word.

Her piercing gaze holds me captive as she sucks in a heated breath and for the second time in two days she questions my intentions. "Why? Why are you so set on this? This is crazy to suggest marriage is going to fix anything." I can see it in her eyes, hear it on her breath, it hurts her that she doesn't mean to me what I mean her. In her own way Aster is trying to be honorable, and let me go. If she wasn't having my baby, I wouldn't give a damn what aster felt for me, but because she is, I can't ignore it.

Staring at her now, her eyes burning with a fire I find myself oddly drawn to, I don't know how I feel about Aster. I know it's different than before the Reaping. Before she was just an annoyance. Now she almost feels like someone else entirely. She's going to be the mother of my child, and when I see her reading to Posy - giving each of the characters a distinct voice, making my sister's face light up with each inflection - I think she'll be a good one.

I see her arms buried elbows deep in soapy suds helping my mom with the laundry she takes in from town, and I think those hands are stronger than I've given them credit for. And when her eyes catch mine in fleeting unpredictable moments, I feel something inside me stir, and I think maybe there could be something between us after all. I don't know how I feel about Aster, but I know it's different than before.

"Because all we have in this damn district is family and we're going to be one whether we like it or not. So why don't we do it right?" I lay it out there, hoping my honesty will be enough to make her see. The Seam is a hell hole, the Capitol has made sure of that. There's not a chance I'm letting her and my child live in it without my protection.

Aster's gaze is unrelenting and I'm not sure if she's going to continue to be stubborn, but I hope she doesn't, because I don't know how much more I can try to convince her before I admit she's right. The two of us getting married is a horrible idea, albeit a necessary one, but she's surprises me yet again and concedes. "…Fine, I'll do this for the baby, but if you start to resent me and I'm going to remind you pushed for this."

Without another word, Aster turns on her heels, and moves away from me. Coming out of the haze of my own thoughts, I walk rapidly toward her. An urgency picks up in my chest, unsure of where she's going. I reach out for her wrist, pulling her back toward me. Her focused emerald eyes hit mine as she quickly pulls her hand free.

"I agreed, alright. Just give me some space, Hawthorne." Her pursed lips demand. The look in her eyes telling me she's as mixed up by all this as I am. With a quick nod, I let her go. Respecting Aster's request for distance. Quickly she's disappears, hurrying back to Katniss's house and I'm left out on the pathway, alone with my thoughts. I don't know what I'm going to do about Katniss, the thought feels like more than I can bear, but I do know if I'm going to marry Aster, I owe it to her and myself to give this a chance.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Biggest thanks to my beta, fangirrrrrl129!

What do you think about the marriage twist? I felt it was justified, because in such a small community it would be a scandal for a girl of good standing to end up pregnant by a boy from the wrong side of the tracks. So they're doing damage control.

What did you think about Katniss's appearance and Gale's feelings for her? I wanted to incorporate Gale's feelings for Katniss, because it was important in the books and I believe love dies hard, but things will change as he grows closer to Aster.

Now that Gale knows Aster has feelings for him there will be a change in the way Gale approaches her. Gale's beginning to see another side to Aster he didn't know she had. A side he finds he likes.


End file.
